Day centre transport withdrawn due to unacceptable behaviour

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
What-ho peeps

Following yet another bus 'outburst' :pinch: day centre has excluded my mum from its minibus to get to/from there.

I have said that effectively means she won't be able to attend. Her mobility is compromised to the extent that although it's literally only few hundred yards to day centre (bottom of next street) might as well be other side town. Her attempt to walk there on her own initiative some weeks ago result in a faceplant and her neigbours taking her home... :dry:

I am going take her in borrowed wheelchair tomorrow and mon but that's all feel can be expected to do.

There is a voluntary transport organisation but even getting them able to cover one single journey weekly, yet alone six a week, proved beyond their resources. They are set up for one-off medical appointments.

I've said to our gp if she can't go and so I can't get a break, then simply can't continue live here and so care for her.

Thoughts ppl?
Poor you!

Forgive me but I can't remember your exact circumstances ,but does Mum realise that if she doesnt behave and go, and therefore if you cease home care , that the only alternative is Residential?

Kr
MrsA
I think she doesn't believe will come to that, MrsA.

She may well be right in that I think she is unlikely to be found as lacking capacity when see her shrink next week. As she is receiving personal care at home (although given her uninhibited behaviour (fronto-temporal dementia)I'm expecting them threaten withdraw again soon).
Sadly, the time has come to look at residential care.
Whilst you may be able to persuade Social Services to fund a taxi (!) the real issue is her deepening dementia.
You have done really well to cope with her this far, but the time is fast approaching when 24/7 care with a team of people caring for her, is the only option left.
This is NOT a failure on your part, I'm full of respect for anyone caring for a dementia sufferer. Feel proud of how long you have kept her at home. SAD, not guilty, that you may no longer be able to care for her much longer.

(I don't like the idea of medicating people to control behaviour, but dementia is a physical problem with the brain. Have you asked the GP is any gentle medication to make her more docile would help?)
Hi,
Was the previous outburst recent? Does the bus have aircon? I work in a special needs school and the children are bused in and out. Those ring and ride buses get VERY hot and if the only ventilation is through windows, everytime they stop to let a passenger with poor mobility on - everyone cooks! Her behaviour on the bus may well improve when the weather cools down. The other trigger for some of our pupils is if they are on the bus too long. Is she picked up one of the first or last? Likewise how long is she on the bus on the way home?

Melly1
I would second the point about the heat increasing the dementia. My friend with her dad at home noticed this both last year, and this. It just seems to 'overheat' the brain maybe??

I also agree that as the dementia worsens, so will she, alas, and so rather than a crisis occurring precipitating unplanned residential care, I would strongly recommend looking around now, and getting 'prepared' for it eventually, whenever that is. Good care homes have waiting lists, and it's sensible to put her on the 'top three' maybe.

And then looking at the financial implications of course (sigh)

I'm afraid I also agree about the 'soothing' effect of mild tranquillisers. My MIL was on a mild dose when she first went into the care home as she was 'agitated' (kept trying to leave, alas), and seemed very anxious. A mild sedative seems much kinder to my mind. THe important thing now is them being as 'happy' as they can be, whatever that takes. If it comes in the form of a little whilte pill, aren't they entitled to that level of 'peace of mind' at their age, and with their afflictions? I would definitely say yes.
PS - only a thought, and you've probably thought and rejected it already as impractical/impossible, but if you are going to wheel her there in a wheelchair, could you not accompany her in the transport bus, and then walk home from the day centre? Or is the bus full up and no room for 'passengers'??
I think we ALL get more grumpy and irritable if it's hot and we can't sleep properly, dementia or not! After a few days at a show in the baking sun, with a fire in the steam engine to make it even hotter, we were all a bit grumpy this morning as we were putting everything away again.

If she is "over heating" does she sleep with just a sheet over her? With a fan in her room? Does she have a blackout/thermal blind in her room closed during the day to keep it as cool as possible? Is she drinking enough?
Hi ppl

Thanks for replies, all appreciated.

Have got residential care covered, major efforts been made get my mum into respite including visits to facilities but always balks after visit. One EMI unit is particularly keen to have her (manager fellow practically frothing at mouth on blower to have her in unnerving :dry: ) and think another visit there before seeing psych on mon (they in same area) may well be appropriate.

Sadly, I don't think heat especially is a factor. It seems my mum resents having wait till lesser abled people can get on. Bus drops her off first so hard to see what else can be done. Surely though this behaviour can be managed (without needing resort to tranquillisers - saw my late dad on them at geriatric hosp and not pretty, mum not that stage imo), it's a day centre after all?!

I think sticking to the no transport, no attendance line is the best for now as it effectively puts ball back in LA/SW partnership court. I believe day centre need her money as much as I need her go there/she needs be there. I spoke to her gp to maintain the pressure. Emailed my carer's advocate too. If it comes to it, if day centre will re-instate transport in morning (not such issue then) between me and voluntary transport hopefully could get her back after lunch even if not three days week as at present.

It may be that matters are taken out of my hands if care agy pull out in any case. Manager herself was unable to get my mum out of bed yesterday morning and my mum starting be consistently aggro again with her teatime carers.

I think everybody has tried really hard to support my mum at home. Maybe it's naîve of me to expect this continue indefinitely. But, on other hand, if I don't get an 'out' in terms of incapacity, why should they. :-???
Sadly, I don't think heat especially is a factor. It seems my mum resents having wait till lesser abled people can get on. Bus drops her off first so hard to see what else can be done

In which case, she needs to picked up last in the morning and unloaded first on arrival at the day centre and loaded on the bus last in the afternoon ( waiting in the building, not outside watching the infirm being helped on,) and dropped first in the afternoon.

I would be wary of her losing her day centre place until you have her moving into residential. The centre might need her money but other families may well be on the waiting list, especially as many centres are closing down.

Melly1