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Crisis point for my Mum - Carers UK Forum

Crisis point for my Mum

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Hello, I have just joined Carers UK. My father is in the advanced stages of myotonic dystrophy and my Mum is his full time carer. His condition was diagnosed at a young age but was manageable for years. Now, however, it has really taken hold both physically and mentally. I am now becoming concerned about my Mum's welfare and we have begun to look at what support is out there. Both her and Dad have been assessed by social services and they have provided some equipment. They have suggested structural changes to the house but my Dad is convinced it's not needed, also in all honesty by the time the work is completed it'll be too late to be of any use. He has had three falls in two weeks, one requiring the paramedics. On Wednesday this week Mum and I looked at a care home who could provide the level of care he needs.
I guess I'm looking to this forum for advice in regards to putting some one you love into care. Part of my Dad's condition means he doesn't believe there is a problem, despite the obvious physical issues. I can only imagine when we start to discuss having a home help or going into the care home he is going to go ballistic. My Mum already feels like she is betraying him by even looking at care homes but she is going to have a breakdown if she continues. Can anyone offer any advice? Many thanks.
Welcome to the forum. You've come to the right place for support and guidance.
There was recently a long discussion about the pros and cons of care homes: https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... home-24864

The upshot of it was that when caring demands are more than one person can give then it's time to seek help. Bringing care into the home can go so far but residential care has 24/7 staffing and expertise. What I'm saying is don't feel guilty. You are looking into care homes for the right reasons.

It takes a while, not surprisingly, for the caree to adjust to this as it is usually a final move - God's waiting room as my dad called it. I suggest you ask the home you like to give a week's respite experience as a bit of a holiday/test run.
Good luck!