Caree's antipathy towards my family

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Well, I've been and visited my sister and other relatives, and returned. I said I'd let you know how I got on so here goes.

In the days leading up to my visit, my wife once again briefed me on what not to discuss. I thought things over carefully. I decided to apply a trick I learned from a marriage guidance counsellor many years ago.
Consider the roles swapped over. How does it look then?
I thought to myself: - "If I should meet someone again after a while, would I enquire about their partner? Probably! Would I enquire in detail about their medication and other health related activities? No! If, on enquiring, the other person were to tell me that they did not want to discuss at that level of detail, would I take offence? No! Would I consider that person or their partner to be eccentric? No!" And I considered a few other thoughts along those lines.

I saw my sister. She asked one or two innocuous questions about my wife which I answered positively. The following day she did start to probe more deeply into my wife's condition. I said something like: "I'd rather not go into such details. My wife prefers to keep some things private." End of conversation. No acrimony.

On return to my wife, she asked and I said I had declined to answer a probing question. Everyone seems happy now.

As I have said elsewhere, it is sometimes good to draw a clear line where the boundaries lie.

Thank you all that responded to this post. I have read and gratefully considered all your points.
Well done, sounds like you kept everyone happy. Not easy!
Good thinking and good implementation Denis, wish I could have thought it through that clearly

Sounds like a good solution all around, well done indeed.
Thank you bowlingbun, MrsAverage and Mary for your kind comments. I could not have thought this through without considering the points of all that contributed. But that is the way this forum should work, surely?

It is good that those observing this post were willing to see it through to and beyond a satisfactory conclusion. It is a pity that some posts on this forum die an "early death". Someone posts a problem and a few of us take a lot of time and trouble to respond. Then it goes quiet. No thanks, no further dialogue, no notification of whether the problem was resolved. There may of course be practical difficulties that bring a thread to a close. I only hope people get something "off their chests" and do at least take note of what others say, to their advantage.

I did have some further thoughts about whether my sister would consider my wife to be eccentric and manipulative. I finally decided she could think what she likes. It is words and deeds that cause damage - not thoughts.