Bathroom challenges.

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
Generally speaking, if a carer were finding certain aspects of personal care challenging - finding bathroom related tasks unpleasant (this person is a very good carer and his sick loved one does not perceive this feeling on his part - he feels it is vital she does not) - is there any way that he might overcome this, or put it out of his mind?
Hi,

Not too sure what to say to help but feel the need to respond so this is not ignored. I feel it is a very valid and yet senstive situation to discuss.

I am sorry things are so hard and hope there is some way of having some help here asap.

Would you be able to talk to the GP or District nurse's about these issues? IF it is toileting issues are there other alternatives such as a carer coming in or is there any equipment which might be helpful? I am a bit cautious here to know what to suggest as I am "guessing" and might be way off course with the whole issue.

I feel you need to be able to talk openly about the exact nature of the problem and the above action might help.

Your hospital trust/ primary care trust would also have a continence advisor and they don't amazingly just dela with incontinance and so might also be able to assist you. Give the Hospital a call and ask to be put througbh to them- they will be able to "signpost" you to another service if they are not the right source of help!

Other than that I am a bit stuck for suggestions.

Hope you can resolve the issues which must be deeply distressing for you.

Don't put it out of your mind and ask for help asap.

Chris
Thanks I really appreciate your reply. I must admit the situation being relatively new to us, I was unsure how to word my question clearly and yet delicately. You've hit the nail on the head. I think the challenge seems to lie in finding a balance between practicality, safeguarding my mother-in-laws dignity and helping my husband process the situation in his own mind, which he finds is having an impact on certain aspects of his own life. My husband and I will ask to speak to the continence specialist.
Do speak to them, we did Image
They can help in many different aspects of this difficult subject and are both tactful and delicate in dealing with carer and caree. it is amazing what is out there that is helpful that we knew nothing about until talking to the continence nurse.
I can only agree with the others.

But I would add that it is perfectly natural for your husband to feel uncomfortable about helping his mum with some very intimate personal care. It's even harder because in many ways it's a complete role reversal. That's hard to deal with, and your husband could probably use an opportunity to talk it through with someone.
I've noticed that there are some combined WC / Bidet units on the market and wondered if anyone has one installed - could this be a help? I expect them to be pretty expensive though.
I've noticed that there are some combined WC / Bidet units on the market and wondered if anyone has one installed - could this be a help? I expect them to be pretty expensive though.
Yes, I have heard of automatic units like this... try this Disabled Living Foundation charity advice website]http://www.dlf.org.uk/[/url] or their help line they also do mobility showers with built in toilets. Your local authority occupational therapist can visit and advise, and there may be cash available depending on their policy and your circumstances.
Sorry to put things back to basics, but I find that if I relate all the messy jobs and unpleasant mishaps back to the days when my children were babies, then I find coping with it a whole lot easier. I'm presuming that you've had children or at least have had some kind of dealings with them. Well, think of when those nappies needed changing (didn't always stay contained with the nappy, right??), remember the days when baby's dinner used to end up inside their ears, nose, eyes, hair - well, these messy events were dealt with, without a thought really and then you carried on. Doesn't matter who it is you're clearing up for either. The messy stuff doesn't last forever and sooner or later it'll all be back to normal again, clean, tidy, safe, with both your husband and his mum feeling better. It's all for making his mum feel better and nice again, she can't do it herself can she? So, again, think of the task as improving things for everyone. My tip for clearing away mess, is, as you're wiping, keep the mess covered as much as you can, the less you see, the easier it is to cope with too. Hope this helps?
I see this is an old thread but it is a very real problem for increasing numbers of carers. I have not had to deal with it myself but I can imagine how difficult it would be. I saw an advertisement on youtube for a bidet toilet seat. It looks like the answer for a lot of people but probably expensive. Here is the link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o56d1Jx2mQ
Harry
fran is pretty spot on,,
even hen it was matt needing hte clean up i found baby wipes to cover , rubber gloves (his mechanics gloves, latex thingys) where a god send and having a humour about it.

With matt it was- jesus gizmo gotta stop feeding aintI? and he would muster a chuckle
and flap yer chap out the way hun his winking at me again

I do the same with amy-- we joke about the logs n piddle and washing the bedding and her AGAIN and how did a log travel up the bed? thats poo music she must be listening to (as it getsin her ears?!?!?)
try to keep good humoured, keep eye contact dont look at private parts unless u really have to, with a lady u can pop a towl over her lap while she sits on the loo and look away, do soemthing else or brush her hair or give her a tooth brush and get teeht clean in one hit. but chat about other things that the toilet issue
soemtimes running a tap to cover the nosie of motions helps avaoid embarassement. I used ot clean the bath out when matt needed help so my back was to him and the noise of me cleaning and chatting he would relax to go. it works with amy as well

Never make some one fellike that they r inconvinencing u by helping them go to the loo,
nah i dont mind, i enjoy our chats in yer office, did u see that on TV last night? did u sleep ok? did u see wotserface over the road still hasnt washed her nets and wot u want to do later? wot shall we do? ect ect..... and if she is a bit older- u can just complain about the weather, noisey kids, terrible music, how the washing machene isnt as good as yer mums.

and get advice form any one u can