Advice on handling carer / food preparation

Share your ideas about the practical side of caring.
My dad is 73, severely disabled and terminally ill. The council have awarded him direct payments to provide 21 hours care a week. He uses that money to employ a carer who he has known for over thirty years. She comes in the week when I am working and I care for him at the weekends. There have been a number of challenges- unfortunately she has arthritis so can't do any substantial cleaning or shopping which I do at the weekend and, as her English isn't very good, I also have to deal with anything that requires good speaking or reading skills like making appointments etc. This has been fine except in recent months my father has been able to do less cooking for himself and is unable to physically get to the fridge she we have had to ask his carer to help. Unfortunately she can't read the dates on packets and has on three ocassions given him food that has gone off which has made hi. Physically ill. Last night she gave him salmon that was five days old and he was up all night being sick etc. I have written her lists of what food he should be given and when but she cant follow them either. Any suggestions? Thanks ever so much.
That's very worrying. I'm wondering whether you could get food delivered from the supermarket directly, which should, I would hope, ensure that there are enough days left on the fresh food to be 'safe' for a week (ie, until you arrive at the weekend?)

For example, if you did a food shop for him on Sunday, with long-date fresh foods, then have another delivery mid-week, would that ensure that whatever is in the fridge is safe to eat date-wise?

Could you maybe also only give him fresh fish at the weekends when you are there, and then only have something like smoked fish during the week, which has longer fridge life?

I hate to say this, but surely one can smell 'bad' food pretty easily! Fish that's gone off is pretty rancid, and so is milk/yoghurt etc.

Another possibility might be for you to cook ahead for your dad, eg, a fish pie that can be frozen, and then simply microwaved hot when required, something like that??
Change carers- to be perfectly honest this carer sounds a bit of a waste of space- she can't make appointments or read -so presumeably doesn't make comprehensive notes either?
She can't prepare meals and she can't do the cleaning-enough said.
Faye, are you aware of all the help dad is entitled to as he is terminally ill? Is he receiving Attendance Allowance? Towards the end he will be entitled to NHS Continuing Healthcare - there are special arrangements for people in his position, so he can choose where he would like to end his days. Has his Social Services Needs Assessment been updated recently to reflect his declining condition? Does he have all the aids he needs? For example, if a hospital bed would make life easier, this can be arranged via an occupational therapy assessment.
Do you think it is time to think about residential care, for example?
Do you have Power of Attorney? I had this for my mum, so at the end of her life, I could tell the doctor that my main concern was that mum was pain free, regardless of the consequences. She passed away peacefully in her sleep as a result.
Are you prepared for what you will need to do after he passes away?
I tend to side with Henrietta on this one - but given that your Dad is blind and also deaf (as per your previous posts) presumably he is more 'comfortable' with someone he's known for 30 years than he would be with someone new ?

Jenny's suggestions regarding food shopping bear thinking about too. Alternatively would it be possible for your Dad to have Meals on Wheels or maybe Wiltshire Farm Foods delivered. Both organisations provide frozen meals which go straight into the freezer and only have to be heated up in a microwave so avoiding any chance of food poisoning. ... 0wodaEMFkA
Meals on Wheels are usually available (there is some eligibility criteria) via your local council, details should be on their website. Or contact the RVS (Royal Voluntary Service) ... GwodFTkEuA
Hi Faye
I can understand that dad has built up a friendly relationship with this carer but it does sound serious enough now that things must change.
Please demand an urgent needs assessment for him so that someone independent ( ie social services) can review the situation. Hopefully this will result in an upgraded care package where this lady's hours can be reduced to cover just 'sitting' and professionals can be employed for the personal care, food and cleaning
You may need to be blunt with him and say "change, or go into residental". Time has moved on and nothing in life stays the same
Xx MrsA