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Elderly aunt coercion. - Carers UK Forum

Elderly aunt coercion.

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Long story short, Before Christmas My mother walked into my 88-year-old elderly Aunts bungalow ( My aunt had only less than a month ago started taking antibiotics for a severe (UTI) urinary tract infection which was causing her cognition impairment ) where she discovered my Aunt sitting on a neighbours laptop changing her will over a Zoom call with a new solicitor and the neighbour who is my aunts "primary carer" present.

While the neighbour was in my aunt's bungalow my mother called the Police who stated since my mother was her next of kin and unactivated power of attorney she should tell the neighbour to leave immediately, and as far as they were concerned due to the severity of the situation the power of attorney was now activated. The neighbour refused to leave. and Police refused to send anyone to help since they said it was not a legal issue.

Over the coming months, my aunt continued to come to our bungalow every day which is next door to hers with a cut-out at the fence for her to come over without having to go around. For the past almost 10 years she had been coming round every morning and staying almost the whole day. I remember one day she got really upset and emotional over changing her will and stated she didn't want to do it and that they had made her do it.

Basically, we told the Police the story they came down to take our statements then a few days later visited my Aunt next door to ask her ( whilst the neighbour was there ), after a while with no reply from the Police we called them again to ask them what was happening and they stated my aunt had onset dementia now but did not have it when she changed her will ( Which was approx a month before ) so they could not do anythings, so they had closed the case.

We had also been in contact with Social Services and Adult social care who also did not seem to want to help they continued to tell us they would call/visit my aunt and call us to update us which they never did.

My aunt has also since told me that she is leaving her large (7+ acre field) to the neighbour's daughter who she doesn't even know.

As my mother is her Power of attorney she feels as if she has let my aunt down as this is exactly why my aunt asked her to be her power of attorney because she knew people would try this.

Now we are all so confused from the Lack of support from the Police, Adult Social care, and social services we have basically given up with them all. My aunt's solicitor has even told us that my aunt called her to change her will but the solicitor told her she would need to see her face to face ( As the solicitor didn't believe my aunt even knew who the solicitor was and didn't believe my aunt was alone ) which was the reason the lady had found another solicitor for my aunt, but the Police/ Social Services refuse to call her solicitor to get any details or a statement.

Just wondering if anyone else has had anything similar to this happen to them and could recommend any further steps as every time we talk to my aunt we later see the neighbour and her husband having a go at her like a naughty child and we have to sit in our house and watch it through a window. The other day my aunt spoke to me for a good 10 minutes over the fence, then yesterday the neighbour and her husband took her out somewhere, shortly after there was an ambulance who stated my aunt had fallen over in her bungalow I believe the verbal abuse may have evolved into physical abuse. they have told her she is not allowed to visit us anymore due to the pandemic even though she is part of our support bubble and have fitted cameras all around her bungalow and facing into our bungalow so they can monitor her every move and I believe have even bugged her phone.

I have missed out alot of details but hopefully you will be able to decypher the main points, everytime i try to write about this it makes my blood boil and i get very emotional as it was our job to protect her and we all feel like we have let her down.

I have also noticed on eBay that this neighbour has been listing my aunts belongings and memorabilia that she has collected throughout her life, stuff that she would never sell.

Earlier today whilst my aunt was in hospital getting X-Rays the neighbour helped herself into my aunts bungalow where she proceeded to block the large window in her bungalow I assume so we could not see what she was doing. Lord only knows what she was doing in there but it did not look good.

Any Advice is hugely appreciated.
Talk to the Office of the Public Guardian, as you have POA. I'm appalled at your situation.
On ebay, make sure you have her as one of your "favourite sellers" so you can see everything she has sold. It's theft. As you have POA, change the locks.
Thank you so much for your response,
bowlingbun wrote:
Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:29 pm
Talk to the Office of the Public Guardian, as you have POA. I'm appalled at your situation.
My mother has already contacted the Office of the Public Guardian and was informed they cannot help until Social services have deemed her unfit to manage her health, which as far as we're aware the only interaction my aunt has had with them was the time a while ago when she called the Police in the middle of the night where she told them that there were two women in her house, when the Police arrived she proceeded to tell them she knew they were trying to burgle her because she saw it on the television earlier that night. My aunt also has an alert pendant around her neck that when she presses sends an alert to someone I believe who is from social services. who also sent more Police.

and I have followed her on eBay and have taken pictures of everything she has sold, but getting anyone to look at them will be another mission by itself, When this first started we had to start recording every conversation we had with my aunt whilst in our house, and have a lot of recordings of my aunt voicing her opinions and concerns regarding this woman and the will in question which no one from either the Police or Social Services will even entertain.

And a funny story about changing the locks..

The day we took my aunt to get her first covid vacine she told me the neighbour had a "right go" at her on the phone saying she couldn't go with us to get the vaccine and she would organise them to give her the vacine at her home, which we knew from already asking that they wouldn't do, never the less we took her to get the vaccine and when we got home my aunt went to her bungalow to get changed as she had a accident while in the car on the way home, when she returned she had a McDonalds burger, when my mother asked her where she got it she replied she didn't know and that the neighbour must have left it in her house, So she phoned the neighbour to make sure as my mother was worried it may have been sitting on the side for god knows how long, When she got off the phone she said the neighbour had left it on the side for her, so I curiously asked how she got in thinking my aunt must have given her a key, so she called her back and asked and the lady replied that my aunt had left her doors unlocked, which i know for a fact was a lie since i was the one who locked them both. At this point my aunt began to worry so she asked us to get the locks changed, so we did. The next thing we know the neighbor had fitted new locks.

We are just totally powerless. At this point, my mother has had to start recording all of her calls since the last time she called the Police the officer was extremely rude and threatening, when my mother told him she had mental health issues he basically told her to give up, and that if we escalate this further we would be investigated which my mother replied we wanted to be investigated. At the end of the call, my mother just burst out in tears. I heard the conversation from the other room and it made me feel sick that a Police officer would be talking to anyone like that, funnily enough when we requested all of the recordings of calls this was the only one they "had not recorded"

During another call one of the officers had stated that they knew my aunt had dementia just from talking with her and they knew that she was being brainwashed into doing things but there was nothing they could do, basically implying we needed to wait for her to die to get any help at all, by that time it's too late.

I strongly believe this lady could have been with-holding her tablets to get her into a state of confusion so she could get her to change her will for her own gain albeit through her daughter. I beleive this may have been the reason the lady did not want her to go for the vaccine as she may have believed they may do a blood test and discover she was not taking her tablets or was maybe even taking a different medication. But that is only speculation.

And like i said previously it seems when ever she talks to us they punish her in one way or another, either having a go at her or maybe even more, the juries out on that one, my mother has reported to the hospital that they believed there may have been foul play involved judging from the arguing we heard not long before the ambulances arrived.

The only thing I can't figure out is why my mother who is her Next-of-kin and Power of attorney over both her health and finances ( even though it's not activated should stand for something surely ) cannot get any assistance from the Police or Social services.

Sorry to drag on It's just finally nice to let some of the information out as it's been doing laps in my head for months. I still can't believe this is real myself, it all feels like a bad dream.
Get the POA activated. After all it has been accepted that she has dementia. Somehow, get a covert camera installed. Maybe contact the Alzheimer's Society?

this is appalling. This is clearly a safeguarding issue.

This might have useful information on safeguarding:
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-suppo ... feguarding
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/a ... se_fcs.pdf

You could contact the Carers UK helpline
You can email us at adviceline@carersuk.org and we will respond to your enquiries within 10 working days, although it can often be sooner.

Our telephone helpline providing information is open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777
or Age UK
0800 678 1602
Age UK Advice Line: 0800 678 1602
Lines are open 8am-7pm, 365 days a year.
or the dementia helpline:
Dementia Connect support line
If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.
We've contacted Alzheimers Society, Age UK, Social care direct and I beleive a few other all to no avail, Gonna give it another go with the POA tomorrow if no luck just going to bite the bullet and call a solicitor and hopefully they can help as we've been going around in circles for the past 4-5 months, One minute social services are telling us they will give us a call back the next telling us they don't do callbacks. If you can't trust the people who are paid to protect you when you're elderly who can you trust?

Thanks again for all your support, It is really appreciated.
Just went out to the kitchen and saw the lady is in my aunts bungalow even though my aunt is still at the hospital It all just feels like a bad joke at this point.

She parks her huge vehicle infront of my aunts door and window so we can't see what she's doing, she put a blind up earlier today which during the day time you could not see through at all, She blocks the gateway through the fence with obstacles to prevent my aunt coming over,

It's the kind of stuff you only see on TV.

And thanks for the suggestions Melly1, I'll speak to my mother tomorrow and see if she's already contacted the CarersUK helpline and if not we'll give them a go!
Take photos of all this. The woman is clearly up to no good. If aunt I in hospital and she is in aunt's house, she is trespassing. Get one of the family to park their car in the drive, or tell her to move it and if she refuses, call in a recovery company!
Crikey. This sounds bloody awful.

I'm surprised adult social care have not gotten involved. Do they not have a client financial services team? Our local authority does and they really help out when young clients are being taken advantage of.

That woman sounds like a right piece of work. Phone the Police and say she's an intruder!

Can't you move your auntie into your bungalow or you move into hers so that awful woman can't get in? Are they bungalow owned or rented from the local authority. If rented, phone them up and ask for advice.

Look up domestic abuse agencies in your area. This is clearly abuse albeit not between a couple or husband and wife. They may be able to signpost you or possibly even give your auntie some counseling or support.