Feeling drained

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Hi
I have finally plucked up the courage to post on here. I have two elderly parents Dad 93 and Mum 89. They have carers 4 times a day which I am grateful for but at times especially recently the care agency have been constantly calling me everyday.The washing machine leaked tripped electric, then mum had a fall they couldn't stay to wait for paramedic she wasn't hurt just needed to get up off floor which I know carers are not allowed to do anyway.Then the shower wasnt working ,that was because when electric tripped it flicked a switch so I had to drive there to flick a switch down!I explained I wouldn't be around last Friday as looking after my Grandson but I got call dad had run out of medication I asked if a carer could collect it for me but they had no staff. There have recently applied for extra time in the evening as they were only putting dad to bed but now mum needs it but it's taking social services a long time to process. Mum and dad have had a few incontinence episodes too and the carers often tell me how they have had to stay over their time ect which causes me to feel guilty but I don't know why I do as what can I do about it?
I was asked by them to chase Social services up which I have done. I appreciate how busy they are but at times I find it overwhelming! I work four days a week,live about 35 mins away so it's not just round the corner and am an only child so everything falls on my shoulders. I have two grown up children a husband and a 1 year old Grandson who I obviously want to spend time with and help my daughter out looking after him as she is trying to go back to part time work. I don't really know why I am writing this as so many other people are dealing with far worse! I think it's because I just wanted to have a rant and get it all out.Also I suffer with anxiety and have come down with a cold so feeling a bit sorry for myself I suppose! Does anyone else feel like this?
The carers MUST do whatever is necessary for mum and dad.
Turn your phone off. Presumably mum and dad both have a Lifeline arranged by Social Services?

You need to go away on holiday for a week, so that everyone realises, mum, dad, care agency, Social Services, NHS, what the real situation is.

If the agency cannot meet their needs with the amount of care allocated, then it is up to the agency to discuss this with Social Services.
If the power trips, then THEY need to sort it out, etc. etc. (Do mum and dad have any emergency cover policies?)
However the real question is "can mum and dad continue living at home?".
is the time now approaching where, whatever the carers do or don't do, mum and dad need residential care?
Do they both claim Attendance Allowance? What can they do for themselves?
Do they own their own home?
Hi
Yes they have Attendence allowance. They own their own house but have very little savings. Dad in particular is very against going into a care home, mum possibly would if anything happened to dad. They are both getting forgetful. Dad has been for a while but now mum is. She has a lifeline button but forgot to press it when she fell! Do other people have carers constantly ringing them is that normal?
It's normal for elderly parents to keep ringing their children, to the extent that the answerphone has to be on 24/7. However, my mum's carers very, very seldom rang me. She had physical problems but was mentally OK.
Do you have Power of Attorney.
How much care you do, or don't, provide, is entirely up to you. Whatever parents think, they have no power over you, other than the power that you let them have.
So it's now time for you to exert your authority. TELL the agency not to ring you. Don't ask them. Tell them.
Same with Social Services. Make it crystal clear that mum and dad must be independent of you, whatever they need is the responsibility of their department.
Thankyou for your comments. I think I probably put too much on myself . I have just phoned my mum to explain I won't see her till Saturday, because I have a cold which I don't want to pass on to them and need to look after Grandson on Friday but she sounded disappointed so then I feel guilty. Can't win really! But then I just thought she has probably forgotten I phoned already so why am I worrying lol
I meant to say yes I do have power of attorney.
That's good that you have POA already. Don't get better from your cold too quickly!
Hi Nicola
On here we call it the Guilt Monster. He plagues us all but can be faced down. Search threads for Guilt Monster and read others stories. You are not alone and here is a very good place to rant.
Sometimes it helps to know that the very elderly tend to revert to toddlerhood and then to babyhood. Their worlds get very small and their needs and demands get larger. They get more dependant while believing they are independent... toddler tantrums. I say this because it can be difficult for the original child (you) to take on the parent role, and even more difficult for them to adapt to being children and no longer in control.
Just looking at it all from a different angle which may help you.

Kr
MrsA