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what can I do for the best in this situation? - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

what can I do for the best in this situation?

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I have to agree with Caringminds comments wholeheartedly. I think the doctor is a waste of space and not doing his job properly! Image

Do keep telling us how your coping, we all really do care you know.

Pete x
Do you have a friend or relative ( who you really get on with Image ) you could consider 'flat sharing' your home with for a while ( with you laying down the house rules ) so that you get a bit of help towards the bills if you gave the OH the 'heave ho' ? It might be a thought worth considering. Getting rid of that useless drone before he drains your confidence completely and has you as a 'house slave' is a must. All the best
Just catching up with this thread and I am gobsmacked how this man is abusing you? My husband has scolliosis and has regular spinal injections and he couldnt throw me out of a room and jam the door on me as his back wouldnt allow it, nor would I for that matter I would be onto the police immediately for abuse. Your husbands back cannot be so bad if he can do that.

He is addicted to the drugs thats clear for all to see and before long he will kill himself overdosing, to my mind as we say in Yorkshire hes a lazy @rse!

Please try and make a better life for yourself one thats happy, it must be a living hell for you I dont know how you face each day.

I hope its helping that you are able to come here and open up xx
hi yes it is helping thanks, when you're told over and over that you are the problem it's really helpful to have other views!
I don't have any friends who would need a place to stay or any relatives at all apart from my son who moved out last year, I have been told that renting a room out is quite an efficient way of generating extra income, tax-wise and also housing benefit let you keep quite a large amount however it's a case of doing it and then seeing exactly how much as they can't work it out beforehand, if I had any kind of financial cushion to tide me over for a few months while I sort that kind of thing out I would be tempted but as it is I don't and I am scared to risk it.
I've just read a really interesting article online concerning Good Practice regarding use of Opioids for persistant pain, I'm obviously not an expert but having read that I would say he should be being monitored far more closely than he is for many reasons not least because of previous depression and substance misuse. I've always been very uneasy about the way he's been given these drugs and can see now that I've not been wrong feeling like that.
Thanks again.
did a quick google for you and came across this about help with bonds - http://www.thesite.org/homelawandmoney/ ... gsolutions
my heart goes out to you
sorry I have been offline since the summer due to a broken laptop but wanted to come back and say thanks for all the support. Nothing seems to have changed for the better, I had some counselling and while it was good to talk and it really showed me I am justified in feeling the way I do that was about it.
My partner is still the same, in bed all the time, apart from when his family visited at christmas for 4 days during which he was up and dressed and functioning, and is now taking tegretol (for insomnia) in addition to the oramorph, morphine tablets, gabapentin and £30 of cannabis every week, all of which combine to do nothing but enable him to remain in bed on a permanent basis although he can still go out if he wants something badly enough. He still keeps adding extra ailments, I don't want to sound unsympathetic to anyone in genuine need but it seems almost as if he is 'collecting' them. He will complain about an extra ache or pain, visit the GP, get a letter to take for an xray and then do nothing about it. He is still cancelling and rearranging then cancelling again, hospital appointments. Still asking the GP for larger prescriptions because he's 'going to be away for a while'... he isn't. And all our/his problems are still all my fault Image
So there we are, I don't want to ressurect this entire thread for the sake of it, just to update a little, such as it is! I know what I need to do but haven't been able to put anything in place yet. I find myself distancing myself emotionally which I hate but I've had enough.
Much love and respect to all the genuine hardworking carers and those who rely on them!
Thank you for the update. Don't be a stranger, we're here to support you.

Welcome back Image
If it's worries about pet's holding you back too then check with the CAB/PDSA/local Vets/local womens refuge, as in some areas of the country there is help available ''foster homes for pets'' so that a person in an abusive relationship can have their pets taken to a safe 'temporary' home until the owner is in a position to look after them again.
If the tenancy is in your name then get him out of there! You should be able to get housing benefit to pay the rent.

If he is taking too much morphine(s) that can cause a "chemical headache" as well as the personality disorder you describe so well.

Personally I would have a quiet word in a policeman`s ear and arrange for the place to be raided for the cannabis and overprescribed drugs. You could have the locks changed while he was being interviewed under caution.

A pity you couldn`t move house and just not take him with you. I know someone who did that some years ago.

Take care