Anne, I thought yours a very brave post, raising an issue that is both complicated emotionally and inherently painful all round. I'm glad that you and your husband have found some healing for your marriage now. It's sad that it's taken severe illness to bring your husband to recognise how vital it is to show affection and love - sadly, so many males find that hard, I know - but at least it's now happened.

As for your ex-lover, again, I guess it shows how 'dangerous' it is to become involved as a third person in a marriage. I hope he can find his own 'life partner' and put his time with you behind him - in a way, he can 'retire from the scene' knowing that he gave you support at a bleak time in your life.

Kind regards, Jenny