Wanted: Magic Wand

[Guest]

A diary of what you do for your mother is fine but I would suggest that keeping a diary "of what [your] mum can/cannot do and how she puts herself at risk, and anything else which might be relevant for the assessment" really does require your mother's agreement and also her agreement for it to be shared.

[Robert]

Hello and welcome from me too

Thanks for telling us about your situation. You have a lot of responsibility and life can't be easy for you. Far from it. Yes its is frustrating when you mum presents so well to others, but this is not that unusual. I can understand why this might be the case, but it does impact upon you I guess in all sorts of ways.

Its perfectly okay to have a moan. Carers carry a lot of weight and its tough at times, especially when its hard to see the way forward. And hard sometimes to see how we can do the things we want to do ourselves as well as supporting those we love.

Good to have you with us. Take care.

No magic wands. Magic ears always...

Robert

[Lazydaisy]

welcome to the forum.
I notice you said your Mum has balance problems.Has anything been diagnosed?(such as Meniere's disease).I have had problems which the GP said was labyrinthitis.I was like a ragdoll for about a fortnight. Then another Carer told me that she had seen a physiotherapist who had taught her some self help exercises to do when she felt an attack coming on. I went to see a physiotherapist myself. He did some work and said it was not labyrinthitis, it was migrainous vertigo,usually coming on after a major stress.He did exercises to my neck and head,and I have had no further problems.That was around six years ago now.
Good luck.

[Ianopolis]

Thanks all for the lovely messages. Sorry I'm so late in acknowledging them, I've been really quite ill myself (on the mend now, phew).

Lazydaisy, it is Meniere's disease. I'm so glad to hear your vertigo was helped. She says she's been told by a doctor that exercises would be dangerous, but I'd like to check that next time we go to her GP, because if it is possible to overcome this problem, it'd be a big help.

Robert, thank you. My main bugbear with her acting "well" is that she even convinces herself that she's capable of doing things she shouldn't, or just doesn't care that she might hurt herself, so she doesn't think to ask anyone who might be available for help - meaning it's always down to me to step in. If she didn't have a track record of damaging herself at times like this, it wouldn't be anywhere near as much of a worry. You're quite right we just feel the need to have a moan sometimes - now I no longer feel at death's door I look forward to joining the forums, and not just to moan!

[bowlingbun]

Sorry to hear that you haven't been well. In theory we all know that it's important to look after our own health, but this isn't always easy to put into practice. I was wondering what your mum's reaction was? Self centred or doing her best to help you when you were poorly? When looking at what you want in the future, mum's recent actions might help you decide what to do next. Incidentally, did Social Services arrange any emergency care for you? In our county I've recently discovered that they can provide 48 hours cover if a regular carer is poorly, I've got the form and applied but no one has come to see me yet. I've only been a carer for 33 years, ought to be on everyone's lists by now and yet still I have discovered something is available which I've never been offered - even when I've had 7 operations in 12 years.

[Ianopolis]

Hi Bowlingbun,

Thankfully(!) she had several days of no energy, so she was mostly in bed and didn't try to overdo things, which gave me a chance to rest.

I do wonder how much help is available that's never advertised. I've just found out that the local chemist has started to deliver medication, which is great, but that was purely because I asked the pharmacist. There was no notice in the window. As for you - you'd think 33 years on their lists would be enough time for them to tell you about everything they can offer, but apparently not - I think I'll make it a habit to ask what other services are offered from now on...

[bowlingbun]

On the subject of medications, I can now order my prescriptions online to the doctor, he then approves my request and sends the prescription to the pharmacist, and then they are delivered. It saves so much time, but again, isn't very well advertised. I wonder if anyone else has similar hints and tips?

[Lazydaisy]

Also on the subject of prescriptions;I order the prescriptions for my husband and son online, they are collected by Boots and I pick them up from there. I have been told this week that Boots need to do a review of the meds with my husband and son!To look at any side effects and ensure they are taking the meds correctly!(This is on top of the usual GP's review for the same thing).What a waste of time and extra work for me,as I will have to take them there, neither can get there themselves.Plus my son will not understand anything they say, so I will be the one having to have the conversation.

[bowlingbun]

I'd be tempted to tell Boots where to go!

[Melly1]

Hi Ianopolis,

life sounds tough. Lack of sleep definitely makes it harder to cope with the strain of caring. We are all out here in cyber space to offer support and cyber-socialising! Might be worth getting the GP to check your Mum's meds and see if he can jiggle them/add to them to enable you both to get a better nights sleep.
Has your Mum attended a pain clinic?

Melly1