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I'm caring for my husband and Im struggling - Carers UK Forum

I'm caring for my husband and Im struggling

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I'm caring for my husband and have been for the last 5 years. I'm really struggling. I feel guilty because I feel so lonely. I work part time and things are getting so bad that I may need to give my job up.

My only outlet is doing the job I love. I try my best but feel like it's all for nothing. We end up getting so frustrated with each other that we constantly argue. The stress is becoming to much to handle and I feel like I'm getting no support from occupational therapy and social services
How old is your husband?
What is wrong with him?
Hi Sarah

Im right there with you. Can I first say you do matter and people do care. One thing in life that I cling to is nothing ever stays the same in life and that allows us the slim hope it will change for the better. If I could I would give you a hug and a cup of tea. The arguing comes from knowing you are worth more than life is offering you now and sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. I know it really hurts to argue, the other person is placing you in a zone that doesn't allow you to be your best self. Please share, keep talking and if you need to even if its just for 5 minutes, walk away and give yourself time. If you feel goaded into an argument and you don't want to argue, just say Im not doing this and walk away. Let him argue alone if he's being unreasonable. We rarely put our selves first and it my greatest regret, so please Sarah, be your own best friend.
What sort of things do you argue about?
Hi Sarah,

Wishing you a warm welcome to the Forum.

I'm sorry to hear about the stress of your situation and feeling lonely. Please know that you are not alone and that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer support. If you would like a friendly chat with other carers going through similar things you can sign up to 'Care for a Cuppa' via the following link (no pressure if this isn't your thing though)
www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-su ... ne-meetups

If you are an unpaid carer for your husband, Carers UK may be able to offer some advice and support regarding:
Benefits and financial support Your rights as a carer in the workplace Carers' assessments and how to get support in your caring role Services available to carers and the people you care for

Carers UK can be contacted via the Telephone helpline 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or via email: advice@carersuk.org

Best Wishes,

Lucy.
Sarah_2105123 post_id=444436 time=1621884436 user_id=1613201]
I'm caring for my husband and have been for the last 5 years. I'm really struggling. I feel guilty because I feel so lonely. I work part time and things are getting so bad that I may need to give my job up.

My only outlet is doing the job I love. I try my best but feel like it's all for nothing. We end up getting so frustrated with each other that we constantly argue. The stress is becoming to much to handle and I feel like I'm getting no support from occupational therapy and social services
Hi,
I am in a position where I have also been caring for my husband for several years, if you enjoy your job retry and keep it, it is an out time for you,. It is so hard and lonely, I just want to give you a hug, I am trying to build a life again inside the net I feel trapped in as that is how it feels, it isn’t easy, but never give up try and d find space that you own for you, it is essential, If your space is just to read a book or go and have a coffee with a friend do it. For me, I am learning to not accept but adapt, Iam sure accepting may be better, this is like being netted and I find myself poking the net to find different ways through. The most valuable thing for you is to find a way to share and talk either via a friend or like this in forum, Ikeep reminding myself that I matter, so do the same you matter, you are special, arguing is exhausting I would leave the room, find time for yourself , bring a bit of you back into your life, it is very easy to be swamped and lose yourself, your identity. Baby steps is one way forward to reestabishing yourself, just believe in you that you and your life matter, take care x Angie