Hi from Somerset

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
my name is Johnny and I am a full time carer for my 93 year old father who is disabled, incontinent and suffering advanced Dementia.

I have been caring full time for my Father John for the past seven years .
In that time I have learned an enormous amount about caring . Sadly as fast as something is learnt and put into practice, there is a further deterioration and a new challenge presents itself for my Father and I to face. ....

I have never been one to ask anyone for help . I have always been able to cope with anything life has thrown at me over the past 60+ years but dealing with his daily incontinence is overwhelming me and has finally brought me to that point when I recognise that I need some help and some advice so I'll post something in an appropriate board and look forward to sharing lifes experiences with other carers.
kind regards Johnny
Hi Johnny and a warm welcome to the forum. Plenty of support and advice to be found on here.
Hi Johnny
Welcome to the forum, there is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking advice and learning from other's experiences.
I am sure you will find others in a similar situation and get the support you are long overdue.
I seem to recall reading on this forum that there are specialist 'incontinence nurses' on the NHS, which sounds exactly what you want right now. How much external help do you get, eg, people coming in to give you a hand, or sit with your dad so you can get a break and out of the house, and so on? When did you last have any respite care to recharge your battered batteries?

However much you love your dad, and have stuck by him, getting others in to help you is NOT an admission of failure or weakness.

Kind regards, Jenny
Hi Johnny
Google 'Continence clinic Somerset' (or the name of your area/town.)
A load of info comes up.
If, when you have read through it, it appears that you need a referral, then go to GP and ask for a continence nurse to visit. The nurse will come and assess your dad's needs, then prescribe continence pads for him to wear. Where I live, I just call and ask for a delivery whenever we are running low.
I also buy Tenna bed sheets from the local pharmacy. They are to place under the buttocks at night and mop up any spills, saving the sheets from a daily wash. You can also buy, (look on the net), waterproof mattress protectors to go under the sheets.
Hope that helps.
Hi everyone thank you all for your warm welcome and advice.

I read a couple of other carers threads this morning and suddenly realised that I was just having a whinge and there are a lot of others far far worse off than I .

I read Toms thread and realised how lucky I have been with my Father. For all his other faults he has never been violent or aggressive or as far as i know deliberately uncooperative.

I had a referral from Pops GP to the local incontinence nurse who was very sympathetic but could do nothing to help. The only thing that would help at the moment would be to assist with the cost of his Tena nappies but apparently they are not allowed to supply pants or nappies.... only absorbant sheets which as you know are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. I soon realised that a simple large towel placed under his sheet was more effective anyway and absorbed most of his urine and could be washed over and over.

I took a step back and realised that all I needed to do was apply myself to the problem . I rang Tena and they were incredibly unhelpful. :roll: They had no products that were suitable for disabled or bed-bound or anyone suffering with mental health issues. They were clearly unaware that people lying on their sides all night simply peed out the unprotected sides of their nappies where there is no absorbant padding doh!...

This morning his duvet was so soaked in urine that I had to throw it away as we do not have a washing machine with sufficient capacity so I searched the net and found 100% waterproof pillow and duvet covers and ordered some. It never occurred to me that there might be such a product ! happy days ...

Over the past 7 years I have applied for every conceivable kind of help that is available and although technically we should be eligible, we have received nothing .Its not fair but you soon learn that that is how it is .

Typing all this out has been the stress release that I needed and tomorrow I'll start on a new plan of action to cope with recent changes in my Fathers care needs and make some plans to make sure that I plan some time for myself to get some rest .
Thank you all for your kind support.
No help at all! Work out the top three things you want most of all, share the list with us, and we might be able to help. I seldom take no for an answer. Is dad getting Attendance Allowance? Claiming Council Tax exemption? Re continence, I have read here about sheath like catheter, might be worth asking the nurse or doctor?
We use Conveen urisheaths for the urine, which goes into a bag. They are not cheap but we get them prescribed. The sheath is a bit like a condom which fits over the penis and ends in a tube. But perhaps you know about them.