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Looking after elderly relative - Carers UK Forum

Looking after elderly relative

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
It doesnt seem as if I'm getting the help from my brother and sisters which is getting to me
Hi Geraint, welcome to thd forum. I'm afraid many of us have had the same problem. If they won't help, they lose any right to tell you what to do!

Would you like to tell us a bit more about yourself and your relative? Ages, disability, and what you find most difficult to manage?
Hi. I've the same situation. I've 2 sisters who have visited only 4 times in 16 months to see mum
Many of us are in this position. I have two brothers who say they will come and let us away for a break but it has only happened twice in 10yrs!! The hardest bit is not letting myself resent them! The attitude seems to be that I took on this role so get on with it!
It is very isolating when I feel they don't care for me or Mum but I am lucky to have a great husband who supports me.
Hang on in there. It will pass and we will have done the best we can and they will have their consciences to live with.
Jean, I hope your mother recognises this, and her Will reflects that it is YOU caring for her, not her sons.

If it doesn't then, though this may sound 'harsh', you are perfectly entitled to take 'carer's wages' from her - eg, from her pension - to 'pay' you for what you do.
PS - I wouldn't bother about making any effort NOT to resent your brothers. Resent away! do they deserve any better? Not by the sound of it! They are not worth bothering about.