Tue May 15, 2012 4:34 pm
Hi I am Tracey and a carer for my girlfriend. We have been together 26 years but for the last 22 years she has been plagued by a neck injury that just seems to get worse and worse. For the last year she has been in bed all day more days than out of it and when she is up it is seldom to get further than to spend a few hours on the sofa watching tv. We have a very limited social life and none of my friends seem to have any idea why i get so down sometimes. But I am literally watching the love of my life crawl through the days. The neck problem makes her nauseous most of the time and causes her to vomit regularly some days. She is in pain ALL the time. Sometimes she can't read, watch tv or even follow a conversation. She is a very intelligent woman and this brain mush aspect of her illness is one of the saddest to witness.
I have to work but I only work mornings and try to do as much from home as I can. But some days like to today I just can't face coming home. I want to do something for ME sometimes, you know? Like go to the cinema or the gym or just sit in the sun and write. I used to be an artist, correction I am an artist, but I haven't made any work in this last year because my partner has been sleeping, or more often not sleeping but just laying there in pain, in my studio. Last week, I packed all my stuff up and made it into a full time bedroom for her. It is a nice room but it was a difficult thing for me to do emotionally. It felt like I was putting a part of me into storage.
I am reaching a point where I need help. It is all getting a bit much. I can't remember when I last had fun - how sad is that? So, here I am reaching out on the internet and hoping someone will listen. That is all I need really (apart from a cleaner, a payrise and a holiday! ha ha ha) just someone that understands how hard it can be to watch someone suffer day in day out. thanks for being there.
I have to work but I only work mornings and try to do as much from home as I can. But some days like to today I just can't face coming home. I want to do something for ME sometimes, you know? Like go to the cinema or the gym or just sit in the sun and write. I used to be an artist, correction I am an artist, but I haven't made any work in this last year because my partner has been sleeping, or more often not sleeping but just laying there in pain, in my studio. Last week, I packed all my stuff up and made it into a full time bedroom for her. It is a nice room but it was a difficult thing for me to do emotionally. It felt like I was putting a part of me into storage.
I am reaching a point where I need help. It is all getting a bit much. I can't remember when I last had fun - how sad is that? So, here I am reaching out on the internet and hoping someone will listen. That is all I need really (apart from a cleaner, a payrise and a holiday! ha ha ha) just someone that understands how hard it can be to watch someone suffer day in day out. thanks for being there.