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Talk about myself? Who am I? - Carers UK Forum

Talk about myself? Who am I?

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Image Hi all, hope this finds you well.


Erm.....I am a single parent of 6 children, I live in Flintshire and I was diagnosed with bipolar a few yrs ago.

For the past 6yrs I have been fighting for my son who was diagnosed last July with Combined ADHD, ODD and Learning Difficulties, I am also now fighting for some1 to test him for Dyslexia.

He needs 24 hr care as he has no sense of time, danger or anything. He has a fixation with knives, Guns, swords and anything that is dangerous. He will light fires, in or out of the house cut plugs off everything, has jumped out of bedroom window and amongst a lot of other things he will run off if he gets the chance. I tried my utmost to keep him in etc but when I was just getting the hang of keeping him in, he would think of a new dangerous thing to do. In the end I had to put to put him in my bed (the floor boards are realy creaky), put a room alarm outside of the room (if I didn't hear the floor boards I would hear this alarm, it was a large darlick that made a loud shooting noise if anything went near it) and I used to stay downstairs so I would actually see him if plan A and B failed. I had alarms on all windows and doors. ansd I put a safety gate against the back door, to stop him from escaping. Things did get realy bad and it was thru the surrounding children bullying him. They use to drag him to the ground and take his shoes off and put them on the roof of cars, just so my son would climb the car to get his shoes, of course when he did, the other parents would parents would scream at my son, the other children would get him to eat berries and the latest thing was to try and make him drink liquid meant for roses. These parents I have witnessed shouting to my son, that he would be taken from his mum and taken to social services, they would have him sobbing at first and the more it happened the more violent he became. to the point where he would away and hide, making it impossible for me to find him. This used to happen even when my older children went out with him. The police were no different with their threats and even the Seargant at one time was so horrified that my son didnt have a mobile phone and blamed me. Everyone blames me, I have been verbally and physically attacked by people I dont know and also that I do know, I have done the correct thing and not retaliated but have informed the police, and I have lost count the amount of times I have been threatened with arrest, just because I mentioned 'Human Rights'. Social Services have threatened me with going down the route of child protection, because I refused to sign a form, I have had to fight for everything, I have even been lied to about statementing, things only started to move when I got my MP involved,

Even now Social Services are refusing me an assessment, refusing him therapy, they state he is a naughty child that lacks discipline, they have lied in the past and tried to get me committed, they say my illness is making my son worse, its all a nightmare, but I have to carry on for the sake of my son. I have no family, no freinds, I never go out and I only go shopping at about 3 in the morning as that is the only chance I get.

It would be nice to talk to you all and get me away from my problems and help someone else with theirs.

Take care
-x-
Hello Pixi

Welcome to the forum... Image

I haven't got much time right now as I have to see to Mum. But I wanted to let you know that I have read your post which must of taken you alot of time to write as by the sounds of it you certainly do have your hands full and having to go get your shopping at 3am is crazy. I'm sure that you'll find this site very helpful and members on forum extremely supportive. Please keep posting

Take care
Maryann x
Hi Pixi

Go to your GP with your son (if eh's willing to be assessed). It will mean a psychiatrist seeing him - but what you describe sounds like undiagnosed Asperger Syndrome - but Dyslexia is very similar and frankly it would take an expert to sort out the difference between them.

Either way, what you're telling us is no surprise: quite a few mums have been in a similar position with nobody listening and assuming that because you have mental health difficulties you must be delusional.

They are seeing what they want to see.

Hope we can help.
the pixies are multiplying!!!!!!!!!

welcome to the site,, im a new one on here as well and every one seems very lovley!

have a 10 yr old step daughter (alice)with ADHD and i know how i feel when other kids make them do things so other parents shout at them. problem is though im very maternal and my i feel very protective over my step daughter,,,, lets just say ive had a few words (im not aggressive i cant shout for love nor money but i can talk to some one like dirt) ive reduced a few "big mouthed know it all parents" to tears for things they have said to her. i dont like bullys

They tried it with amy,,(she sits in the garden watching the birds) things like wheel across the road,, problem is Amy being 4 and like me said,," if its that much fun why dont u do it first " and laughed at them saying "u could play on the big road but dont u take my sister!" she takes no no nonsence and often stands up for Alice.
Dear Pixi,

I My husband has been verbally abused many times. His probem?He walks with a guide dog. Most people are lovely, but there are people who think they can be abusive as a blind man is so vulnerable. He has been knocked down by a van, witnesses around, but police didn't do anything because he hit the van as it drove away;a woman sticking her finger in his face etcetc. Disabled people and their carers seem to be sitting targets.

See if there is a local Advocacy group that can support your sons needs. They will help you to write letters and talk to Social Services, and put in an official complaint if that is what it takes.I have really founf Advocacy useful and supportive. It is really hard work, but the only way to get anybody official to listen to you. Remember that if it was not for families like yours or mine, staff from Social Services would not have jobs. They are supposed to be there to help make our lives easier.

Good luck.

From Lazydaisy
Dear Pixi,

I My husband has been verbally abused many times. His probem?He walks with a guide dog. Most people are lovely, but there are people who think they can be abusive as a blind man is so vulnerable. He has been knocked down by a van, witnesses around, but police didn't do anything because he hit the van as it drove away;a woman sticking her finger in his face etcetc. Disabled people and their carers seem to be sitting targets.

See if there is a local Advocacy group that can support your sons needs. They will help you to write letters and talk to Social Services, and put in an official complaint if that is what it takes.I have really founf Advocacy useful and supportive. It is really hard work, but the only way to get anybody official to listen to you. Remember that if it was not for families like yours or mine, staff from Social Services would not have jobs. They are supposed to be there to help make our lives easier.

Good luck.

From Lazydaisy
The worst incident that overtook myself and a guide dog (my 1st, named Ike) was when a goup of teenagers decided that we were a good target for fireworks. One set his fur alight and my trousers. He went from a vibrant and bullish dog to one retired at 8 due to a nervous breakdown. The verbal stuff I've managed to deal with, we get a fair bit sometimes when out with my wife in her electric wheelchair and me with Earl. A quick tongue and "ramming speed" (not an instruction guide dogs teach :-) has sorted many issues, as well as, more and more, locals who know us being brave enough to aid our cause.

I do hope it's not dented his confidence too much and he gets as much pleasure from working his dog as I do mine. Vicki recently did a tour of hospitals on all points of the compass (during which they closed the local train statiion for repairs). I got dumped from a bus at unmanned stations I'd never been to when off to visit. With a guide cane, I'd have had to give up and go back.

Ty