hi, new here

[Claire_17011]

Hi, just joined today. I'm a carer for my 88 year old nan that has many health issues ranging from brain tumors to heard disease, epilepsy and now I late stages of Dementia. After a stroke last week shes deteoriated even more. I've been caring for her for about 10 years and thankful to have the support of my husband and teenage son. I guess often its tough as many of you will know so I'm looking to see what's out there as often feel very alone in it.
Anyway, I look forward to reading more on this site. Thanks

[bowlingbun]

Hi Claire, welcome to the forum. Are you getting any help from Social Services so you can have a break?

[Claire_17011]

Thanks for your reply, we have a carer for an hour each morning and my cousin is wonderful at helping do her meals.
This past week since the sudden deteoriation has been hard as I stay by her at night as her breathings so bad, up minimum of 5x per night for various things and trying to work during the day. Thankfully my mum came down yesterday to help for a few days.
Social services are wonderful but if needing extra help the it takes over a month for a meeting for the basic assessment to be done. Tomorrow is a full day in hospital with her so hopefully will have a better idea of what to expect.

[bowlingbun]

Ask the hospital and GP and Social Services (so no buck passing) to arrange an NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist Assessment. Google this for more information. There should also be some emergency care available via SSD, to top up the usual care. However different areas call things different names, just make it clear you MUST have more support.

[jenny lucas]

Hi, how come you have your nan to look after, but your mum doesn't? Sorry if that seems an unfair question!

What does your husband think of the situation? You've spent a large chunk of your son's life looking after his great-grandmother (I think that's it?). Is nan living with you?

Again, sorry if this seems a bit 'harsh' of me, but why is your nan your responsibility (as she seems to be??)

Ten years is an almost unthinkably long amount of time to have to look after someone!

I do very much hope that you are maximising the amount of outside help you get, and to which your nan may be entitled!

[Claire_17011]

Thanks for the advice, ill speak to hospital folk today when were there.
Nan lives just a few mins from us, we bought our house to be close to her. My parents live 150 miles away and are both in poor health theirselves although mom does help when shes able. I only Sta with nan when shes poorly at night, otherwise just in and out during the day.
Nan always cared for other family members and as I got older I helped her to do this. She cared until their last days on earth at home as its best for them. As a family we will do this for her and am more than happy. Yes its hard and appreaciate as much support as possible but my husband is behind me on it and helps also. She always did so much for us that although 10 years sounds a long time its been hours of ups and downs but of love and times we would never change for anything.
My son is very close to nan and has always had a beautiful relationship with her. Even now when she doesn't know folk at times shes always happy to see him. As he I her.
Will see how today goes and again thanks for the advice.

[MrsAverage]

Hi Claire
I am sorry that Nan is so poorly. Has anyone intimated that she may be near the end of her life? I only ask because if she is there may be night time support available from the local hospice or other charities if she is. That might mean you could spend quality time with her and get to work too.
Thinking of you
MrsA

[Claire_17011]

Hi Mrs A yes it been suggested ots looking towards end of life, but seems to have picked up yesterday . The hospital did loads of tests that were helpful and looking at what is possible now. Unfortunately it takes quite a while for ss to meet for reassessment. But ill speak to them today.
Several times we've not expected her to pull through and she's bounced back! For now its a day at a time needed. Thanks guys for your messages , actually helps knowing theres folk out there that understand

[bowlingbun]

Make sure the Continuing Healthcare Checklist Assessment is done. It can be fast tracked if end of life suspected.

[MrsAverage]

Hello Claire
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancerinfor ... ghelp.aspx
As you mentioned brain tumour, you may find help quicker through the link above.
Wishing you all the best
MrsA