Struggling in limbo

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74 posts
If they do, tell them it's an unsafe discharge, you are raising a formal complaint about it, and will refuse to admit him entry to the house. It can be done!
My workplace has now changed the goal posts and say a sabbatical is no longer an option and HR wants to know why I need such extended leave! Why bring up sabbatical leave all week only to say it is not possible now?. I wish they were just straight from the start. Sorry for the additional rant, stress levels through roof!
May want to cross reference with another recent posting ... TROUBLE AT WORK :

https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... work-34495
The real answer to you problem is for dad to have the care he needs without any input from you.

It is vital that you tell the hospital, ideally involving PALS, if necessary complaining to the CEO of the hospital about an "unsafe discharge".


Hang onto your job, you need the money and the companionship it gives you. Things will only change for the better when you force others to do THEIR jobs properly. I know it's tough, but you are worth it, you can do this.
Seconded !

As posted on another thread , if each NHS hospital followed the NHS BIBLE . there would be hardly any unsafe hospital discharges ... or dumping of unfit patients back to their homes and / or carers.
Well my Dad is still in hospital but much much better. They have referred him to a rehabilitation hospital for one of two weeks after discharge for physiotherapy to strengthen him before coming home. My work place has said if I need four to six months off it would be a break in contract and I would have to informally reapply once I can return. Working for them from home is not an option. Trying to get little things fixed in the house while my Dad is away. Once my Dad is out have to start on the legal and care issues. Much to sort out.
First step is to ask the hospital to arrange an NHS Continuing Healthcare Assessment before any discharge arrangements are made. This means in practice that the Occupational Therapist, Physiotherapist, nurses and consultant all prepare a report then there is a meeting INCLUDING YOU to discuss what is best for dad.
Stress repeatedly that you work and are NOT AVAILABLE TO CARE. Keep repeating this like a stuck record player if neccessary.
An update, my Dad was finally transferred to a rehabilitation unit care home this week, one day after they finally turned on the heating in his side room in the hospital ( well that's another issue! ). The care home is very nice, comfortable and new and he has already started to receive daily physiotherapy. He is still very confused and his memory is very poor. I hoping this will resolve when he comes home in about two weeks. I am actually giving myself a break from seeing him today as I have been going to see him every day for three weeks at the hospital as he was isolated in a chilly side room, also recovering from a tooth infection myself. I am worried about the possibility that the hospital delirium will not resolve, but that is something we have to deal with when he comes home. Many thanks
Is coming home the best thing for him....let alone you?
The question you need to ask yourself, is

"Should dad's move from the rehab home be his final move, to somewhere his needs can be catered for 24/7 for the rest of his life?"

His dementia and physical health are NEVER going to get better long term. Imagine a graph, it will go up a bit and down a bit, but the ups will never be quite as up as they were previously, and the downs will only get deeper.

I know this is hard to accept, but what is in dad's BEST INTERESTS?

Is it better to send him home again, to fail again?

How long before you go round this awful circle of admission, rehab, discharge, admission....again?

Believe me, I know how tough it is, all four parents have now died, each after a long illness and many admissions.
74 posts