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Stressed - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Moved my mum in with me, hubby and two kids 15 months ago as she didn't want to go into a care home, little or no family support. Had 4 days off so far. Have to pay for care as mum owns her flat that she can no longer live in. I have depression and she can be very difficult sometimes, turning on the kids and her carers I pay to bath her have just quit. Getting stressed now. Hubby works 60-70 hours a week to pay the bills and rent and is trying his best. Is there anyone out there
Hi Nicola, wait a second or two please...
Image sorry about that

And hello again and I am sorry things are so hard for you right now.

None of my business but I am wondering what sort of help or support you are getting. meaning are SocialmServices involved and have they been of any help (including benefit advice on the finance side of life).

I have to go out soon but I will be around for another ten mins or so, OK? I might not be much use to you but maybe I am better than nobody for now lol x
Nicola, I didn't mean to be nosy. And I do know how awful depression and stress is. If nobody else comes here tonight you can be fairly sure that you will get replies in the morning. I just don't want to leave you really if you very sad right now Are the kiddies asleep? is you OH home or not? X
You seem to have come to a standstill. Nicola I will just chat anything just to keep you company for a few minutes ok? Erm, er, who am I? Just a fellow carer and member here like you now are.But I am not in your age group. Erm struggling here!!! To make small talk.

Nicola, I am not batty, well not all the time, honest.
I really have to go very soon. Sorry I was. Ot much use.
maybe tomorrow though unlikely I will be online very early.
Hi nicola and welcome to the forum.
Caring can be incredibly stressful. I too have depression and have just started on anti-depressants. Have you been to see your GP about it? You to look after yourself too.
Elderly people can become really self centred and unable to see anything from anyone elses view point which is incredibly upsetting if it is some-one you love (like your mum). Does she also have dementia and this is why she cant live at her flat now?
Please have a look round the forum - there are some very honest posts about what caring is actually like. If she has dementia I think you might find this topic helpful viewtopic.php?f=32&t=23418
Hello Nicola, Hope you are bearing up! You are not alone. Things happen and it all becomes too overwhelming, I look after my husband who has bipolar and brain damage due to an overdose. I have just had to 'welcome' my daughter and her family back into our home three weeks ago as they had debts and she finds it hard to cope, so I'm looking after her as well, and the baby grandson is a handful and needs a lot of attention, the son in law was told yesterday he has lost his job so my job will be the main source of income....it's bloomin hard and I feel like running away....I suppose that's how you feel? Hang on in there, you may feel weak, but right now you are pulling on every reserve and the strength you need is coming from somewhere. Sending you ((((hugs)))). don't give up, accept the way you are feeling and know that it's normal and just do one thing at a time and focus on that one thing. People keep telling me to take 'me time', but it's hard when you feel your the only one that can complete tasks well and with efficiency. And if you can drop that belief as stated in my last sentence, you'll cope all the better. Others can do things to help, just not the same way, so accept their help if offered and let the others exercise their abilities. I struggle with that last one myself but I'm working on it. On a practical note have you been given a carer's assessment? Seen your GP? I had two officials from the CQC visit me last month and they agreed with me that carer's have to fight not only for their rights but the rights of the caree on a daily basis and that's through their observations within the CQC. I hope you had a good rest last night and feeling more able to face this new day. Take care we're all with you in spirit. Treez xx
Hi and welcome
Hi Nichola and welcome,

We're here in cyber space to offer support and chat. Feel free to read/browse or post.