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Spent Direct Payment money, in despair. - Carers UK Forum

Spent Direct Payment money, in despair.

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Hi, I am Mag, live in South Wales, full time carer to my partner, diagnosed with Alzheimer back in September 2010. This is so tough, get so frustrated, as a result I found myself hooked on online Casino, spent all the direct payment money to pay support workers with and own parents and friend £2000. This is awful and I can't believe what I am doing, I am so disapointed with myself, guilty and ashamed. Got to face social service next week, so scared. Any advice, help please, I am a wreck. Thank you.
Oh you poor thing, I haven't any advice really but what I will say is that There Will be an answer. And once it is out in The open with Social Services .... That will be the starting point. And actually, I think you have been very brave to continue to face it.

Under your sort of stress it is sooooo easy to make mistakes. Xx don't beat yourself up like this, please.
dunno if it might help but I am sure there is loads of support for "addictions" of all sorts, if you don't mind me using that word?
And remember that you can phone and talk to Samaritans (it's not ONLY about suicide) and just being properly "Heard" might be of initial help in coping with the challenges you now face.
Most of make mistakes in life. I hope you will get all the practical help you need soon.

caring for a husband with Alzheimer's is often overwhelming at times. Totally understand why you needed/need escapism. You certainly aren't wicked, not in my book. it's happened and now you are forced to "confess" I think you deserve more support.

DR
Hi,
I am new to this forum amd I too am in a similar situation. Direct Payments are threatening to withdraw the direct payment that I get for looking after my dad, I am his carer. We spent some of the money to buy my dad new clothes and shopping over xmas £260 as we were broke. Direct Payments have written to me saying that they have done an audit on the account and the money has been used for things other than care and that they are recommending the direct payments be withdrawn. I have to contact my dads social worker about this and I am worried sick. We have had really bad experiences of poor care with agency staff and my dad does not want this again he will be so distressed if they stop the direct payments, this is my only form of income and find it very hard to manage on the small amount of money I get. My dad has never been happier or healthier since I have been looking after him and now direct payments are trying to stop this. Please HELP any advice is welcome.
Hi,
I am new to this forum and I am in a difficult situation. Direct Payments are threatening to withdraw the direct payment that I get for looking after my dad, I am his carer. We spent some of the money to buy my dad new clothes and shopping over xmas £260 as we were broke. Direct Payments have written to me saying that they have done an audit on the account and the money has been used for things other than care and that they are recommending the direct payments be withdrawn. I have to contact my dads social worker about this and I am worried sick. We have had really bad experiences of poor care with agency staff and my dad does not want this again he will be so distressed if they stop the direct payments, this is my only form of income and find it very hard to manage on the small amount of money I get. My dad has never been happier or healthier since I have been looking after him and now direct payments are trying to stop this. Please HELP any advice is welcome.
Hugs, Kazwoz. I'm in Australia so I have no idea what to suggest, but I'm thinking of you and I'll be hoping everything turns out well.
Hi Magalie. I'm in Australia so I have no idea what to suggest, but I'm thinking of you and I'll be hoping everything turns out well. Hugs.
Hi Kazwoz,
I am so sorry they could withdraw Direct Payment in your case. I was hoping to arrange repayment monthly in our case and have Direct Payment taken from my hand, I know the agency who recruit our support worker can do that for us, they are called SIL but I know some other organisations can do the same. I will no more have access to that money. This is such a shame as carer we cannot be recognised as true hard dedicated workers with decent income to prove it, this makes my blood boiling. This is such a hard position, we put the person we care before us and the only reward is to know our love one is happier, the money should follow. The government would spend so much more if my partner had to be in a nursing home. We should get a proper financial support as carer, I did not know or was aware of the all picture before I became one. This is so hard work but will not change it for the sake of my wonderful partner who when he was able was so supportive. I will find the strenght to go through this and I wish all the carers who feel low courage to carry on and all the best. xxxx
Hi Kazwoz,
Why is this your "only form of income"? If you are a full time carer, have you investigated the possibility of Carers Allowance, topped up with other income related benefits? Is your caree claiming every single allowance? Carers UK have a brilliant helpline which helped me to hugely increase what I could claim. So often, social workers don't ask people about their benefits, they don't see it as their job, but it's not really anyone's job to ask! To anyone reading this who is caring for someone with dementia, make sure you find out more about "severe mental impairment" for Council Tax purposes. My son lives alone, but doesn't pay a penny Council Tax, as he has severe learning difficulties, and the same applies if dementia has taken hold.
I didn't know about council tax exemption until "Bowling" told me about it after my dad had passed away, I only had to get a form signed off by my Mums Doctor and she was immediately exempt from council tax due to mental impairment - I would never have known had it not have been for the support of the good folk on this forum - no one in authority told me even tho' they were fully aware of my Mums dementia xxx