Son with schizophrenia

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Any advice welcome...
My son has had schizophrenia for 8 years, he is not too bad compared to some people affected with it so I feel a bit guilty about complaining about it. He has had jobs but loses them after a few months due to making mistakes or falling out with people- difficult to know exactly what happened. He has had a job for 2 weeks now and I feel it's not going to be long before he gets the sack again ... they have had a long chat with him at work and told him he's wrongly categorised some (insurance) sales and that it amounts to gross misconduct. He is in a very difficult job selling insurance- a right sweatshop by the sound of it, out of the 9 people who started 2 weeks ago only 3 remain. I feel his expectations are above what he can easily achieve but he doesn't really listen to me ... when he loses his jobs he gets understandably depressed. I think if he thought he couldn't do a job that led to a career (i.e. not a B & Q type job - I don't mean to demean people who work there) he would feel his life was not worth living and might kill himself. (He got a degree in 2009 just as the schizophrenia started). I am getting therapy and am on antidepressants. He tends to blame me for everything. I get ranting and raving long phone calls,. I have started standing up for myself recently but it's difficult because it's such a horrible disease and I feel so sorry he's got it. Also feel guilty perhaps I caused it with my bad mothering that's why I feel I deserve his anger sometimes. Jobs are so demanding these days, they expect so much. His has been on antipsychotics for the past 2 years and they keep the psychosis at bay but there's still some paranoia rumbling on in the background mainly about people's intentions towards him. Should I try and tell him to lower his expectations re jobs? And how do I do this. He sees a psychiatrist once every 6 months, he isn't 'bad' enough to have a CPN.
Firstly, if Google causes of schizophrenia, you will read on any reputable site (Youngminds, NHS etc) that the causes of this MH condition are a combination of factors and that you alone did not cause him to get it.

When someone with MH issues is being horrible to someone who is close to them, it can be hard to tease out what is part of the illness and what isn't.

Maybe a way of selling a more B&Q like job to him, would be that it would be less stressful, mean he would be able to stay at it longer and it would look good on his CVC when he applied for more career- like jobs in the future.

Sorry, if you've tried this already.

Hi Nicky

Firstly, well done to your son for getting his degree. I can identify with a lot of what you say. My son has a long history of starting jobs and courses, only to founder when he gets stressed out. I believe he has had an undercurrent of psychosis for most of his life, from even before he was diagnosed, and stress can exacerbate his condition and cause him to act recklessly and aggressively.

He never takes any responsibility for what has happened, just decides the other people involved have been unfair or nasty to him. He seems to set his sights unrealistically high and has a fantasy that people will receive him and his ideas enthusiastically.

I, too, blamed myself for his illness, but with the help of a therapist have come to see that feeling guilty doesn't help the situation. I can't go back and do anything about it but I can use all the energy I was spending to do differently in future. If I feel guilty I tend to indulge my son instead of setting firm boundaries for him, and that doesn't do him any good.

Melly's suggestion is a good one. I would add that I get better results when I don't imply that my son has contributed to any of his failures - even if it's glaringly obvious to everyone that he has!
Thanks Melly and StarFish for your thoughts and advice. I will try and sell the idea of an easier job though as you know people with this illness can be very proud and have high expectations.

It's good to 'talk' to people who understand the illness and the myriad ways it affects the sufferer - and their family.

Wish they'd hurry up and find a proper cure...

Wishing you all the best.