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Shared care ? - Carers UK Forum

Shared care ?

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I have 2 sons. The Oldest 21 , I volunteered into permanent care.At that time he was on High rate mobilty and care DLA. The place where he is cared for ( some 70 miles away ) has seen many changes of staff and environment almost on a bi monthly basis. He is SLD with behavioural problems. Type 1 Diabetic. Nightime incontinent. A new change in staff and management has kicked him off again. It has been reported that he is attacking high dependancy service users most of whom are not mobile. This is now the subject of an emergency review of care. 2 - 1 in the community and 1 - 1 of an evening up to 11pm is being requested. He is currently 1 - 1. During the last review approx 1 year ago , I objected to the use of a chemical cosh namely Haloperidol. He was withdrawn from this on consultation with the psychiatrist , a meeting that involved myself. The Care home is now obviously a business having been in the past a charitable trust. When my son is with me ,on holiday or days out , he is well behaved and passive. I have never been the subject of an attack from him.
My youngest is 18 , He attends a specialist college for the deaf on a semi residential basis. He too is on the Autistic spectrum. He too has sporadic outbursts and does not adapt well to change. But , he can be contained. He is a bit more "with it" and can be trained and even employable.
My thoughts are , In the case of my eldest, I fear that the level of care reqeusted will be denied by the funders - Social services. I am at present self employed. I am thinking wether it will be in my oldests best intrests and perhaps my emotional well being too. to cease trading and offer shared care with a facilty localy This may well stabilise my Oldest and I will be on hand to help manage. Downside of this is of course financial as I will need an income.This will not be welcomed by my wife either ( I am a widower remaried ) who works as an asst. head teacher and fears the power that My oldest has over her career as my oldest is very accident prone.We were the subject of an intense Social services investigation after he suffered an impact fracture of his foot. Since he has been at the care home , he fell leaving him with a steel pin supported broken leg ,broken elbow and nose. His bones are very poor condition.

I am looking for advice on the pros and cons and perhaps some ideas on ways forward that do not impact too much on my wifes emotional and financial well being. I owe love loyalty and duty to both.
Hi John,

First of all welcome to the forum which I hope you will find useful.Others will be along soon to add their welcomes too.

My brother has 2:1 support in the community and I can tell you its no bed of roses getting funding but it is possibleYou have to be well prepared though and like always get as much support from those in authority such as consultants etc.Our local MP was very helpful too.

Be very careful what you suggest on your part John, as to future care ,that it is sustainable/manageable, as in my experience Soc Services will opt for the cheaper option rather than the best one suitable for our loved ones.

Do you have contact with other parents in the area with circumstances like your own?
Have you contacted a local carers group who can possibly advise you more about what facilities are available locally.?

You have so much to consider John so please get some proper advice.

CarersUK have a helpline you may want to consider phoning.The service is free. Unfortunately the service is currently only open for 2 days a week. However they do have an answerphone service if you leave details an advisor will call you back.

Telephone 0808 808 7777

Open Wednesday and Thursday 10am-12pm and 2pm-4pm

You also have various other organisations but I wont bombard you with too much info as yet.

If you decide to bring your son home, please please make sure you have good support arranged from Social Services BEFORE he returns if possible.Many here will tell you how it can takes months of calls/meetings before any headway made.

The expression granny sucking eggs comes to mind and I apologise for possibly already stating facts that you have already learned as a family over the years.

Please keep us posted John and always someone around to help even if by just listening whilst you talk about your concerns.

Be strong John
Rosemary
x x
Just adding my welcome to the forum John, I can only repeat Rosemary's excellent advice - you do need all the professional help you can get before you make any decision.

Keep us posted on your situation, take care

Paula xx