Scared, any advice please - left with nothing to live on.

[Guest]

Hello
My name is Malcolm and until July 12th 2011, i was my terminally ill wife's second carer, she had a main PA funded by direct payment. She passed away that day and both me and her carer were left shattered and devastated at the shock of it. I have been unemployed since 2009 and so took on the role as paid carer from 2010, but now i find i have been left penniless as i can only claim bereavement allowance or jobseekers, yet my wife paid all the household bill like gas electric etc from her benefits as she was the main income in our home, i paid for the food we eat and my debts from being out of work. now i have to pay all the bills yet i am only being offered £65 when my expenditure on bills is £70+ and i have nothing left for me to feed myself with. As my wife was a high user of domestic utilities i am now having to pay the high monthly budget plans for the use she used while ill, i use very little utilities now yet they wont reduce the budget plan as they are based on the old reading and untill i get lower reading they wont drop them, but i cant wait a couple of months on the amount of money they are going to give me when my carers allow and income support stop next month. its like being punished for something out of your control. i had i job interview yesterday and fluffed a question cause i have been out of work and caring for my wife for so long that my mind is brainwashed into a caring role and not a working role. if i dont get a job a am terrified of what will happen to me and out dog my wife expressed me to look after before she died, how can i keep a promise to a dying wife if i cant feed myself i feel like a failure and have let her down. i have tried to streamline my bills as much as i can but i can only loose so much after all we all pay them, so why cant the gov give me enough to pay my bills, after all i was doing a job for little money and saving them a fortune, what thanks do we get from them nothing. If i go on jobseekers i still get about the same but i will have to pay bus fares for signing on and interviews also stamps, paper, ink etc, yet i dont get extra for that so i am worse off as i have less money again and still have the same bills to pay. If i come off the budget plans and just pay the bill as it arrives after using less energy what happens if my 2 weeks benefit are not enough due to other debits being taken before the bill arrives and i am let when the next benefits come. i feel so totally abandoned i have a few hundred pounds keeping me afloat for the next couple weeks but once august bills come in that will be gone and i am sick with worry of what will happen next without work and money. I have 2 friends who offer me strength and encouragement but no family. 50 years of age and have never been so afraid at any time like this.
Any advice would be welcome. being trapped in a barrel and just going around and around is not helping my mind either. Thank you.

[no1mum]

Hi Malcolm and a warm welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Try giving the CUK helpline a call, they'll do a full benefits check for you, it would also be worth you getting an appointment with your local CAB, who should be able to negotiate with the utilities companies for you.

Karen

[cheryl]

I'm so sorry this has happened to you Malcolm it must be such an awful strain and worry how you'll manage to survive just at a time when you should be able to grieve for your wife with out all this extra worry and pressure.
All I can think of to suggest is that you contact Citizans Advice to check that you are recieving all the benefit you are entitled to, I'm not sure but think you are entitled to Income Support on top of JSA.

Also you could write to your MP and your local counciller they may be able to offer some support, if nothing else it informs them of how carers are treated. Sad to say yours is not an uncommon experience.

You could also try contacting The Princess Royal Trust as they may have some funding for emergency grants for carers and ex-carers.

http://www.carers.org/about

Best wishes Malcolm I hope you manage to find some further support and advice.

[worriedjohn]

hello and welcome

[Guest]

Contacted the princess royal trust and just as expected , they dont help carers with support of any financial nature, juts words of advice i have already done, seems i just have to reduce my outgoings by not using things like gas and electric oh and food too then i can pay my reduced bills for as long as it lasts. worked for nearly 50 years and this is the help we get from this country when circumstances fall badly and put us in a spot we should never be in by default. If i dont pay my bill then maybe i will get looked after in prison after all they are treated better than me at the moment just under more rules but just as locked in as me. I thank you all for the help you have tried to give me but without devine intervention i am sunk,

[Pearl_11494761]

Hello, just joined the site and read your post. I am so sorry to read your story. Have you ever heard of the charity Christians Against Poverty. I don't know where you live, but they have many groups all over the country. Offer practical help, liase with any company you are in dept. with on your behalf, and help you with financial planning etc. etc. They have a web site, if you google the name, you can find out where the groups are based either on the site, or by contacting the main group. Many local groups are attached to local Churches, and volunteers will visit you at home. They are very professional though. Hope this might lead to some support for you. Margaret

[Pearl_11494761]

Hello, just joined the site and read your post. I am so sorry to read your story. Have you ever heard of the charity Christians Against Poverty. I don't know where you live, but they have many groups all over the country. Offer practical help, liase with any company you are in dept. with on your behalf, and help you with financial planning etc. etc. They have a web site, if you google the name, you can find out where the groups are based either on the site, or by contacting the main group. Many local groups are attached to local Churches, and volunteers will visit you at home. They are very professional though. Hope this might lead to some support for you. Pearl

[Deborah Gordon]

Hi Malcolm

Sorry to hear of your circumstances. I've never been in that situation but must admit I'd be pretty worried too. I can only suggest you try some of the things that other members here have already advised but make sure you eat and look after yourself. The other companies will eventually back down and take money when you can afford it. They're not going to risk you declaring bankruptcy and them getting nothing so with a little pressure they'll hopefully come to a reasonable arrangement.

Debbie

[Ranicat]

Hi Malcolm
I am sorry you are in such distress .
What i cant find is what you did for a living. i only ask because there is a charity called "Elizabeth Finn Care" that helps professional people who are in financial crisis.
I was given help at the beginning of 2010 and again in 2011 when they reviewed us again. They have many professions they help and perhaps if you are from one of those professions you may get help. We got MONEY..........

www.elizabethfinncare.co.uk

Their website has a list of all professions they help and also may take into consideration if your wife was a professional also, or if your parents worked for the government in any way in the past.
If you do fit believe me they are wonderful.

Mandy