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Carers UK Forum • Saying hello :)
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Saying hello :)

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:28 pm
by Guest

I've been reading the boards for quite a while, then joined a few months ago but this is the first time I've posted. It seems a nice, supportive place to come to.

I'm 39 (yesterday) married and have a son who is 19. My son has mental health problems, delusions and outbursts, and is slowly recovering from a severe bout of depression which ended up with him trying to take his own life, almost succeeded too, thank God for kind policemen and ICU.

Whilst trying to support my son I am also my husband's carer, he suffers with psoriasis and over the last six years developed the associated psoriatic arthritis. I'm trained to administer his injections of methotrexate but that's the only health advice I've received as far as helping to manage his conditions. He also has severe asthma and due to taking powerful medications he's now developed blood pressure and heart problems.

I had to give up my lovely job in April because I too have several health problems and with caring I was finding it too hard to cope. I have endometriosis this has done so much damage it has left me with abdominal adhesions causing severe pain and restricts what I can do even house work is exhausting. Because of the medication to control the endometriosis I now have osteoporosis. In January 09 I fell in soft snow but broke my shoulder, because the hospital missed the fracture for 3 weeks I have ended up with limited use of my arm. I have been offered an operation but because I have brittle bones it may not work and even if it does work it will definitely leave me with weakness anyway. I also have Ménière's Disease with extremely bad vertigo, drop attacks and tinnitus.

We recently moved into an adapted property, it has a brand new wet-room and stair lift we also have several items to help my husband from social services. As soon as we moved in though SS support has been not existent. I’m struggling through with the basic stuff like cleaning but the decorating just isn’t getting done.

We’ve moved here in November and the only rooms which have paper on the walls are the bathroom and the kitchen and this is only because the whole estate is being done up so each house is getting a long overdue makeover i.e. new windows, kitchens etc. Because of the refit the HA stripped the whole house. The house looks a mess and even worse the un-papered walls are causing problems with my hubby’s breathing. We also got turned down for a Community Care Grant and as we are on a mixture of DLA, ESA and CA we just don’t have the money to buy carpets, we’ve managed to save up for the living room but it’s taken us 8 months to do. I worked out we might get the hall, stairs and landing done by Valentine’s Day and the bedrooms by September after that. The only other help we get is the HA do the gardening twice a year. They offer a scheme to decorate one room every three years but have now run out of money so we can’t even apply for that.

I’m beginning to feel like I can’t cope and have come close to walking out several times, I spend a lot of time close to tears and it’s affecting both my relationships with family and friends. My hubby doesn’t have any family and my mum is disabled herself and lives in supported housing as does my brother.

After my mammoth post, sorry and thank you if you made it this far, I was wondering if anyone knew of any help we may get. Can you reapply for the same items that were turned down before on a Community Care Grant (we applied in November when we moved, we even got turned down for the moving costs because we’d borrowed the money from a friend who we still owe the money to) and is there anyone who could help fill in the forms so we have more chance of receiving some help.

Thank you for reading, it's nice to "meet" everyone.


hi and welcome. you will

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:34 pm
by pauljstephens51@hotmail.com
hi and welcome. you will find alot of helpful advice here and you will find your not alone..

Welcome to the forum

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:22 pm
by krys
Welcome to the forum Image

Hello and welcome have you

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:22 pm
by Myrtle
Hello and welcome Image
have you tried asking at your local health centre if they do a 'handyman' scheme?

Hello Tehya and welcome to

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:17 pm
by Caring_Mind
Hello Tehya and welcome to the Forum. I am so sad for you that you have so much to bear. I have also been through the situation of my son trying to take his own life and I understand how it makes you feel. ((((((((hugs))))))))
Belated Birthday Greetings, too Image
I wish that I could offer helpful advice, but I'm afraid at the moment I can't think of anything! I'm hoping that someone will be along who may come up with some ideas x

Hello and welcome

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:05 pm
by fluffycat
Hello and welcome Image

Thank you for the very

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 11:31 pm
by Guest
Thank you for the very warm welcome. It's nice to know there are people out there who understand. I've lost plenty of friends since my husband became ill and sometimes feel quite isolated so it's nice to have a place to come and have a bit of a moan.

I'm already a member of the local authority's Carer's Centre but have never used them, daft I know but I find it almost impossible to ask for help which is a major failing on my part. I am going to ring them tomorrow and see if they can offer some help or at least advice on filling in another CC Grant.

Thanks again for welcome, I look forward to getting to know you all better.


Hi Teyha and welcome. I

Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 8:03 am
by stevieGTFC
Hi Teyha and welcome. I joined last week myself. I am in awe of you and everyone else who comes on here. The difficulties that you are contending with show just how amazingly strong you are. Happy belated Birthday too with hugs to boot. ((((Teyha)))
Stevie xx

Hello, have you got a

Posted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:08 pm
by late of this parish
Hello, have you got a local 'Freecycle ' group? They are really useful for passing on /picking up a suprising range of items, including carpets Image I think you usually have to 'offer' something before you are allowed to put in a 'wanted' request but it could be worth looking at. http://www.freecycle.org/group/uk

HI Tehya, You have an enormous

Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:43 pm
by lambchop
HI Tehya,

You have an enormous amount to contend with and, to be honest, I am awe of your strength. But you hit the nail on the head when you said it was a problem for you to ask for help. You have to get over this shyness and ask, ask, ask till they get sick of you asking. I really hope you have had some good news in this respect and someone has helped you in some way, especially with regards to benefits. Social Services have to provide you with help - there is no way you can manage all of this.

There are charities like Mencap who sell furniture etc and Freecycle is also a good idea.

As well as Carers UK, you could try the Disabled Living Foundation. I'm really sorry you have so many health problems of your own, especially osteoporosis which is such a horrible disease especially since you have endometriosis as well. I hope you are taking bone density drugs for the Osteporosis.

Please take care of yourself Tehya.