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Carers UK Forum • Returning to the forum
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Returning to the forum

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:13 am
by Linda_150812
Not sure whether this is in the right place. I posted a few times years ago. I’m married to a man with Aspergers and I’m classed as his carer (he has got much worse over the years) and he is now starting with memory loss and he is awaiting tests and CT scan. Feeling very alone and isolated at the moment as the things I normally do to lift my spirits are not available due to COVID. My mood is sinking day by day and I’ve put on a stone in weight when I’m already overweight. Thanks for listening.

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:41 am
by Ayjay
Linda_150812 wrote:
Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:13 am
Feeling very alone and isolated at the moment as the things I normally do to lift my spirits are not available due to COVID.
I'm lucky in that my personal therapies/interests are still available during Covid 19 (although most are fairly weather dependant).

What do you normally do that makes you feel better? There may well be an alternative if you have other interests, I'm sure you must have considered those, but maybe we can suggest something that you've either not though of or not considered if you give us some clues.

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:56 am
by Zena_2006
Linda_150812 wrote:
Sun Jun 14, 2020 11:13 am
Not sure whether this is in the right place. I posted a few times years ago. I’m married to a man with Aspergers and I’m classed as his carer (he has got much worse over the years) and he is now starting with memory loss and he is awaiting tests and CT scan. Feeling very alone and isolated at the moment as the things I normally do to lift my spirits are not available due to COVID. My mood is sinking day by day and I’ve put on a stone in weight when I’m already overweight. Thanks for listening.
Hi Linda, I joined today so wasn't even sure how to comment on a post. I also care for my husband, he is currently in the shielding group. My 'get away ' was working and unfortunately I am now stuck working from home. I absolutely understand how you are feeling. My husband has deteriorated considerably since lockdown and I have been just left to work out how to keep him healthy and control his pain.
Last week I bought a adult colouring book, which has never been a thing for me however it has been effective in shutting the thoughts out for a while.

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 12:25 pm
by liondog
Linda, maybe try something like learning a new language. Duolingo is a fun way to learn a new language, is free to use and you can do as little or as much as like each day. Try to set some time aside for yourself each day to log into the site and take your mind off of everything else for however long you think you can manage each day.

https://www.duolingo.com

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2020 6:00 pm
by thara_1910
Welcome back! FluentU is good for those who love learning a foreign language- https://www.fluentu.com/?utm_source=goo ... -sQAvD_BwE

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2020 4:22 pm
by Linda_150812
Thank you all for replying. I think I’m always on the edge of being in a low mood. I had support from a very good forum for partners of people with autism but it has closed for some months at very least. It’s so hard to explain what it’s like having a partner whose brain doesn’t behave the same as yours.

Everyone with autism is different. My AS husband lives in the moment so the past and the future or potential future really don’t exist and now on top of that I’m pretty sure he has memory loss. I organise everything and have to find the money to get everything done, car, house repairs, simply everything. It’s a lonely life.

I rely on seeing my sister for a chat and a laugh and sometimes stay overnight with her or at least I did. Not sure it will be safe to leave him when Covid is finally under control. Even then It takes me hours to ‘normalise’ or longer. Just to have a conversations with another without having to explain and examine every tiny detail.

I also rely on seeing a friend and also on seeing my daughter and little grandchildren.

When he has the memory tests and it is deemed safe to have a CT scan it may be We can see a SW and get some support in place.

I feel since so many areas of lockdown have relaxed it’s going to take 3 or 4 weeks at least to see when infection rates increase.

Does anyone on here have an ASD partner, I wonder because for the partner it is mentally and emotionally very, very stressful and at the same time it’s such a hard condition to describe to anyone.

I have tried dualingo in the past and it is a good app. Currently I feel too overwhelmed to do it. Sorry if that sounds pathetic but that’s how I feel right now.

I’m also having to work out how to use the forum. Again I think that’s me.

Re: Returning to the forum

Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 12:12 pm
by Amanda_20061
Hi
My husband has aspergers, only married last year ...been together 5 years... sometimes life really difficult not sure what to do...
Future very uncertain...
So, I truly sympathise with you’re situation.
But try to find one thing every day just for you.... mines my music and work and gardening.
Try to smile at little things
🌸