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Stress stress & stress - Carers UK Forum

Stress stress & stress

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi there. Im quite new to this so im not 100% sure if im doing this right. My name is Ellis & im 25. Forgive me for the essay.

So, i care for my lovely dad who unfortunatley was diagnosed with Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4 in March of 2015. (Brain tumour/cancer)

Since around October 2015 i have become my dads full time carer, along with welcoming my daughter in February 2016 and working for a care company of a weekend. Recently i have become very depressed/stressed with everything i am taking on. I have 3 older siblings who do not help out with things, or even visit my dad to see him. (I live with my dad, partner & little one in my childhood house) basically when things went wrong with my dads ex girlfriend we agreed between us all that we would all be there for my dad and each other and offer support where and when it was needed.

Basically i have been left on my own to care for my dad who is dependant on me to make his meals, dispense his medication, housework and shopping while i juggle a family with an active toddler and work.

I have recently been in touch with social services to set up some care to help take some pressure off as my dad will not allow me to do certain things.

Ive worked for said care company for 2 years now and have always been on a 0 hour contract. Now here come the problems. Im familiar with 0 hour contract employee rights ect but im just a bit stuck with a few things that im hoping someone may be able to help me with.
Since ive worked for this company, i have never been told there are no available hours and have never turned down hours.
Since coming back off maternity leave in November ive had never ending problems with my working hours due to a management change. Just recently i wanted to claim working tax credits as my financial situation was all over the place due to my hours being here there and everywhere. After a number of phonecalls to my office, with an agreement on their behalf that my hours would go up to 16hrs a week i started the ball rolling, to be hit with continuous rotas containing no more than 10 hours of a weekend. For nearly 2 months now this has been the case with numerous phonecalls to try and sort the issue out which have not helped. The annoying thing is that other carers who i frequently work with, have over 50+ hours a week. Quite a few people have complained about the unfairness of this but still nothing has been done. Im stuck in a situation as ive already handed my notice in once, to be persuaded to stay with the same broken promises which in the end didnt change anything. They will not sack me with the reason that they cannot accomodate my hours nor am i in a position to quit, as i have no other income/benefit to fall back on.
I really dont know what to do as this has been going on for 7 months now and is really not what i need. Has anyone experienced similiar that could maybe shed some light on this please. Thank you
Have you ever been in a trade union?

Apply for other jobs and try to make a clean break from your present company
Yes, im currently with a union
I have applied for other jobs but because i can only work of a weekend im not hearing much back.
Your Union should have either a help phone line or an office where you can go for confidential advice.
As you are a carer, your employer has a legal duty to "make reasonable adjustments for you" as you are "disabled by association". I suggest you ring ACAS and talk to them about "Constructive Dismissal".
Carers UK has a brilliant helpline. I suggest you also ring/email them asap. It may be better for you to not work for the time being, and claim Carers Allowance etc. instead.
Has dad had a Social Services Needs Assessment, and you, a Carers Assessment? It's vital you get regular time off to enjoy your little one, those early years pass in a flash.
Alternatively, would you like dad to move into residential care? It's nothing to do with your siblings, if they don't help they have no right whatsoever to tell you what to do.
Also, what is the position concerning the house. Will you be able to stay there after dad dies?
Hi. Thanks for the information i will definatley ring Acas tomorrow. Unfortunatley i have been trying for 2 days to get hold of carers uk but their phones are ringing out. Ive also tried the cab office too with no luck. I spoke with social services on tuesday so it will take between 5-10 days for them to come out. I havent ever had a carers assessment. Thing is, ive only applied for carers allowance a couple of weeks ago but it just so happened to be that i took extra work on which i dont think meets their criteria in weekly earnings. Im very tempted to not work, but finacially i cannot afford too. No, i wouldnt want dad in a care home, i couldnt bring myself to do that after all hes done for me growing up. Id be racked with guilt. Yes everything regarding the house is all sorted out. Its just the issue with work and managing all this extra stress :(
There is no connection between a Carers Assessment, done by Social Services, and the Carers Allowance.
If dad qualifies for care from Social Services, then he should be given the choice of services arranged by social services directly, or being given Direct Payments, so he can arrange and pay for his own care himself - and that could go to you.
Email the helpline if the phone is busy - it often is because it's one of the best!