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Remember I said I'd need you again - Page 3 - Carers UK Forum

Remember I said I'd need you again

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Revenge is a dish best served cold. I was told that I had 3 years to pursue a negligence claim, so there's no great rush. I've been through that procedure, and I honestly would not recommend it just yet - that's not saying don't do it, but it's very stressful, and you have enough of that just now. ( I can tell you all about it by a PM if you like). It's really important to work out your immediate future, priorities for today, this week, this month. Think of it as a sort of strategic plan. Write down a list of problems to be overcome, and of course write down a list of all your questions for the doctor. Give him a copy when you see him, at the start of a meeting, or in advance. Just a few ideas from my own experience which might help, but every situation is different. Take care.
joanna,i was so lucky when i went to see doctor melton at our surgery,i told him about the memory loss and other symptoms and he admitted he hadn't got a clue so he referred us to the gardens(mental health unit at grimsby) they conducted mmse tests.at the same time rheumatolgy conducted blood tests to check for any possible causes,to rule out deficiencies etc,then mri's,1 showed scarring on frontal temparal lobe then the next showed it had healed,then we seen neurology who ruled out ms,then eeg,then a spect scan.this took a year in all but like dr lambert said(specialist) they were that desperate to prove it wasn't alzheimers and something else that they ended up proving without a doubt it was az.all the time i was seeing the specialists nobody doubted me or accused me of imagining it and the odd one even agreed with my theory that the lichen planus(skin condition rashes and lesions) might of caused it,i noticed the memory loss after the wife's hair grew back after a bad bout of lichen planus,holes in legs etc.the reason i mentioned gp's was that i did see the odd gp who thinks they know everything but i've learned to ignore these over the years with daughter having bowel problems and myself who has sleep apnea which seen me in theatre for 12 hours to try and sort out(jaw reconstruction with titanium plates) if i'd of been fobbed off by them i might not be here today.the wife's immune system seems to be attacking her,a bit like hiv but it isn't,but at least i have her for now and on the right meds,fight your corner tomorrow you dont want answers you NEED answers!!!
I encourage my family to live life with no regrets. When my husband died suddenly from heart failure, we felt we owed it to him to have his sudden death formally investigated. He had been going backwards and forwards to the doctor, and having countless blood tests for two months, following a rapid decline in health over a few weeks. They had diagnosed arthritis, completely missed the fact that he had heart disease.
Had I not instructed a solicitor, I know that in years to come, I would have regretted not having the courage to do so. It didn't cost anything, all paid for by the legal expenses part of my house insurance. Within weeks of his death, the practice changed procedures. I now know exactly what happened.
For me, it was absolutely the right thing to do, and the GP practice changed procedures within weeks. If my actions saved just one family from experiencing the loss of a loved one in the way that we did, then it was all worth it. For me personally, I can sleep easy in my bed, with peace of mind. The solicitor I used was excellent, very kind and understanding and supported me all the way through the process.
Whether or not to take legal action is a very personal decision. The purpose of telling my story here is to say that I completely understand your feelings towards the doctors. This is probably not the right time to decide whether or not the doctors have been negligent. Once the diagnosis is clear, a care plan established etc. etc. it will be more evident what ought to have happened etc. Only then will you be able to decide whether or not to take it further. Until then, keeping a calm head when everything seems to be in turmoil, and concentrating on what needs to be done for your husband is more important. PM me if you want more information.
Thank you all. I have a lot to think about. Ive got my note book and I'm going to put actions down in lists of what's the most urgent to a sliding scale of what can wait. I have the meeting with the hospital doctor on Wednesday. The person from the alzheimers society comes on Tuesday. I can pick her brains for good questions to ask or if you have any that you think I really must ask. I have so many questions and very little answers. I need to ask the right ones
I am going to write down all the things I think could have been done different. For example a couple of years ago we had a CPN this was after my husband tried to kill himself when because we both had to leave work because if his illness and our ppi didn't pay out on the mortgage because the guy that drew it up didn't tell us that because he has problems in the past this meant his illness wasn't covered. Anyway we list our home and ended up which we still are in council accommodation This was to much for him and he became very depressed and took an overdose. The CPN came out of and on for a year and one day on her visit I told her his behaviour was getting strange he was talking to a women that wasn't there and getting very aggiatated and angry. She saw him and that he was getting aggiatated She stayed for 15 minutes shook my hand and said good luck as she went out the door. Within an hour if her leaving he became worse he left the house and we couldn't stop him. In the end my family and I and the police were out all night looking for him. Getting him on his mobile he was talking to people that weren't there. All that day I tried calling the CPN but only got her answer service. In the end we had helicopters out looking and the police got permission from a judge to track his phone. The CPN realised the mistake and got him a bed ready in the mental health ward. We found him next morning he was still very angry and a little confused ( not like he is now). Our gp came to the house we had him contained in the bedroom with police outside the door. The gp was too scared to section him because he might get sued. He left the police left and I and my children were left alone with my husband going crazy upstairs. We locked him in and slept with one eye open that night. Next day he agreed to go into hospital voluntary
That just one occasion we were let down.
When you ask the Dr questions also jot their answers down its very easy to forgot things especially if theres a lot to take in. I do it quite often. Also if you don't understand what they've said get them to explain again.
Good Luck
Somebody hold me down. I'm soooooo upset I'm either gonna break something or burst into tears. I've been sitting here for an hour and the carers support lady hasn't turned up. She hasn't even text or called to let me know that she will be late or is not coming. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!! It's not good when the ones that are there for support lat you down and she made the date time and place not me aaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!
be positive,by nature of her job she might of been held up by other meetings over running,have you got a number to ring,i had to ask our care co ordinator if she'd left or retired the other week because we hadn't seen her since november,she is coming on the 16th,she explained that they are over stretched and running round like idiots,
Soooo embarrassed. Sitting in a cafe crying. Image
That is awful, Joanna, such a let down, have you tried ringing her or the organisation for which she works? If you ring to find out what is happening, usually the organisation knows where someone is and whether they are going to be late or they will contact them to check what is happening if they do not know.