Remember I said I'd need you again

[Scarywomen 'not']

Remember I said I'd need you again? Didn't think it would be this soon. Hubby has to go for an EEG of his brain and an MRI. he's still very confused. Failed his fourth mental state test today. His nurse says they had a meeting about him today. The consultant wants to have a meeting with me maybe next Thursday 13th when she has the test result. They are thinking definitely dementia just have to find out what kind.
I said all that to say this. Having a bit of a panic attack. Dementia is serious stuff. What am I gonna do?

[Minnie]

Try not to panic Joanna , I know easier said than done, dementia is very hard
to cope with, but you will get through , some days they have clarity , good days and
bad, others will know more than me about the EEG , hope things settle for you.
Take care
Minnie

[Scarywomen 'not']

Thanks. I went on the forums of a dementia charity I didn't join it I just read some if the post on young peoples dementia. Some carers were saying their caree got bad very quickly after formal diagnosis i think that really scared me.

[daylily]

Hi Joanna,

It's not a good diagnosis but it's not the end of the world.
My hubby had a serious stroke 2007 (aged 57) and was diagnosed with Vascular dementia in February last year.
He's easy going (most of the time), just does what I ask him.
He is confused most of the time, cannot follow conversations properly, is severely sight impaired and has mobility issues.
But, he says he's happy, he's no trouble except for shopping, buying things he doesn't need or will never use, it is just tiring because I cannot leave him for longer than about 2 hours and I cannot afford help.
I would suggest the Alzheimers Ass. website if only for advice, they keep
me sane and it is not all doom and gloom on there.
I hope you and hubby cope with whatever the diagnosis is.
Take care. xx

[Scarywomen 'not']

It's worrying Because he's scoring very low on the mental state tests. I just have the feeling it's been left too late. Stable door and all that. I've been saying to doctors about his memory for some time no one listened and now that they are it's seems he's a good bit down the road and as usual it me as the carer that's going to have to deal with the mess.

[Myrtle]

I remember too and as I don't have dementia to deal with I can't really offer any advice over what has been said.
But I do know, whatever we deal with, it's always the carer who gets to deal with the mess.

[michael parker]

Don`t panic.Dementia is an illness,and like many long term illnesses it can be very wearing on the carer.Get the diagnosis sorted,get a care package in place,and do what you can.Remember that there is nothing wrong in admitting you cannot cope when that time arrives,and also remember that you have a life to live too.I care for my disabled Mother and my Father has Vascular Dementia.We have good days and bad days but i feel comfortable with the situation at the moment.But i know that Dads Dementia will only get worse,and the day will come when i cannot cope.Until then i do what i can and what i am comfortable with.Every ones limit is different,some cannot cope at all,others manage to deal with what can seem an impossible situation,there is no right or wrong in this.Try not to worry about what may happen but deal with what does happen.Easier said than done i know.Best wishes.

[malc]

you probably feel that life is over as you knew it before,mmse tests,eeg,mri's etc,meeting new doctors,care coordinators etc and you are scared,scared that what you think is going to be true,getting the answer to the question that you don't want to get.remember the sooner you get diagnosis,the sooner the medication can start(aricept),they are brilliant with memory but can cause other problems,nausea and the runs,but it will be a case of do you want the person back or not,if so try to put up with other side effects,they settle down after a while.what i've found with my wife is the aricept enlighten the memory but haven't halted other alzheimers related symptoms like seeing people,nightmares and being reluctant to go out and mix because of being scared to.dementia/alzheimers is a horrible disease it will be you thats hurting and grieving whilst the patient will be quite happy unaware that they are ill,my wife is 41,you go doctors and they don't believe that a consultant gave a diagnosis,as if they know better,your friends won't understand and they have no reason to.life can become very lonely,wife up at 12,bed at 2,up at 5,back bed at midnight,conversation can be nil when sat and finally never feel guilty because you long for the torment to end

[Scarywomen 'not']

Malc
I've been living this nightmare. My husband sees things. Sleeps all the time. Won't go out. Get agitated Angry. His memory is really bad. He hoards the most bizarre stuff, boxes and boxes of it. He's up all night searching for stuff he doesn't even know what he's looking for. He doesn't remember when he's eaten. Tells my daughters he hasn't eaten in days and then they get on my case cause they believe him. I'm almost at breaking point.
To all of you in this forum. You have been a lifeline in the very short time I've known you.
I did something today I would never have done. I phoned a carers helpline. A local one. I felt very awkward talking to the voice at the end of the phone. I'm not used to asking for help. You have given me the courage to do this. I'm meeting with a lady from the helpline on Friday. Don't really know what to say to her. I don't want to seem needy. That's not the right word but I'm sure you know what I mean. She told me to start keeping a diary of all the stuff I do as a carer. I'm almost afraid to write down all the stuff I do. It might be overwhelming.
Anyway just wanted to thank you all. Talking to you like this was my first step. Friday is my next one.

[Myrtle]

I'm glad you found the courage to phone a carers helpline And do write it all down, it will help her to see what you really need to help you!
Good luck and please let us know how it goes.