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between a rock and hardplace - Carers UK Forum

between a rock and hardplace

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Hello, been lurking for a few days, im not new to caring but new to it being my paid job. maybe the biggest mistake of my life.

Mum went through alchol abuse a few years ago, which inturn ended up with major depression to the point of wanting to kill herself, dad tryed so hard but became upset and angry, so i dropped everything daily to come to his aid when needed, every day id get the call, mums not wanting to live, mums not eating, mums not washing every day was a struggle, doctors to call, dad to tend to as he was very upset, mum to tend to with some tough love at times, ..anyway..this went on for about a year or so.. untill one day...breakthrough, she decided that she wanted to get better.. and day by day taking steps she with me and dad got better... now shes even stronger than before.

SO.. i though, If i could do this for my mum and see positive results, then i could do it for someone else.. but unfortunately this hasnt quite panned out, the job i love, the people i love, i can see laughter in thier eyes, smiles on thier faces, bad days good days i take them all ... respect and space when needed, i do this job for the chance to change someones life for the better however small that may be and i need a wage in the house.

but now... after only a few weeks, my so called work mates have turned against me, why? i dont no, i see things that arent rite and i try to change it, i wont accept the fact that they wont even talk a while, read a paper with them,take them to the toilet, too busy drinking coffee and chatting between themself to care that someone needs the toilet or just wants help with practical things. im on the verge of leaving this job i love because of them, all i get is u do it if it bothers u that much. which i always do. i havent got enough fight in me now its been a hard few weeks, but i dont want to leave knowing so much is wrong...what could i do?? the manager lets it happen, the senior carers let it happen and add to it. everyone knows it happens, but its soooooo wrong.
Wish i could tell you something positive,but there isn`t anything.If the management aren`t iterested then you have nowhere to go.The regulatory body CQC are useless,and unless a death occurs you don`t even get a mention in the media.You could try filming what goes on and seeing if anybody is interested in putting it on TV,but what would be the point.Even if an enquirery were held we would simply be told `lessons will be learnt`,and nothing will be done.That is how residential care homes go if there is nobody to regulate them.Unless you feel up to a losing battle i suggest you find a better job.Sorry. Image Image Image
Hello, Karen Image

First of all, congratulations on the support you have given your parents and managing to really bring about change. Can't have been easy for you. And its great that you wanted to 'get into' caring work. But its a pity you have become so frustrated and disillusioned. But I can understand. Others wont always see things the way you do. And they certainly wont always feel the same passion and drive as you do. I'm generalising of course. And I can understand why some colleagues may fall out with you. Its a shame you can't stick with it and work your way into some supervisory position, then you might be a great influence. But as things stand its tough.

Have you thought about moving to another Home ? It would be a real pity to loose your experience and motivation. Why not approach another Home and give it a go. But sometimes, striving to do what is right can be a lonely journey, especially if you are on the bottom rung of the ladder, so to speak. If you can't bear it, move away. But if you can stick it out, in time you could be doing a great job somewhere and setting a great example for others to follow.

Whatever you decide, well done re your parents' situation.

All the best,

Robert Image
Hello Karen,
My mum will soon need residential care, I would give anything to have someone like you looking after her. I worked, very briefly, in a residential care home long ago, which had the same bad attitude, I felt so sorry for the residents. It's very difficult to change the world, but you CAN make a real difference, in the right place. Have you considered working for an individual? You are clearly self motivated and understand what is needed, and would get huge satisfaction, not frustration, in the right place. Otherwise, find a good care home or agency. You need to look after yourself, as well as others. In the meantime, a few covert photos, a diary, or covert filming might help improve the lot of where you are currently, but only when you have a reference safely in your pocket! Good luck. The caring industry needs more Karens, less Can't be Bothereds.
Put in a formal complaint in writing, copy it to the Care Commission/inspectorate, and if no action is taken then quit. That way you have a "good reason" to leave which will be helpful when you apply for another job. Looks to me as if working as a PA might be right up your street, working directly with a client of family in need who have access to a personal budget. Keep you pecker up, ignore the workplace bullies, and stay true to your principles! See also: http://www.papool.co.uk
Thankyou so much for all the replys,
put a complaint in, and grievance paperwork now in place, if they can talk to me like this..well, i cant even say they dont speak to the people like this cause they do...

Im normally a quiet and just get on with the job kinda person, but this has really got my back up, these people dont deserve to be bullied nor me, and the sooner this gets sorted the better. i wont and cant see this happen. so im going to be strong for them and me, and see this through to the end.. then i mite be able to move on and become a personal carer, i dont care what happens to me, i want to stand up for them and see they get the care that they deserve and pay for..cause if i dont my morals and personal achivements would be for nothing. my parents did not bring me up to be someone who walks away from this, time to stand up for them and see it change for the better.

fingers crossed. and toes ect.... mums being so so strong and dads coping well, lets hope it rubs off on me. xxx
I'm right behind you on this one. Well done for taking such a courageous step.
many years ago my dad ended up in hospital and a chap died because of a badly run nursing home in hinckley,so if they are doing things wrong,it needs sorting,the matron at my dads home went to prison for manslaughter and my dad died in hospital,homes are run to make a profit and this is now worse because the council run ones are closing down,care should be priority but i'm afraid money is.
thanku thanku thanku, ive got a feeling im not the only one with this problem at this place, a fair few have left because of this, this info was given to me via other carers, so they new there was a problem, because these others just left and some just dont say anything, its never been brought through the proper channels, so hopefully , with the problem now highlighed things can be done, and these horrid people will think twice about how the approach people.

O GOD, I FEEL like things are about to get very rocky! but i really feel the need to follow this through.

Malc im so sorry to hear that, im not a quest to change everything, but if i can change just one thing then i know i would have made a difference to the life of someone, and that would be worth all the stress im about to undertake.

time for the calms tablet and a coffee. lol Image
Well done you for standing up and being counted Image