Reducing care role and dealing with the LA

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Hi sunnydisposition.

Yes I have thought about approaching my MP, I have also been advised the same by my daughters surgical consultant regarding NHS matters. Maybe worth combining the two problems with the MP

Thanks
bowlingbun wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:24 pm
It's a long story, here's a summary.
M was in a 15? bed residential care home, which we chose with great care. We were told his bedroom would be his "forever" bedroom, overlooking the lawn and walled garden, so I spent about £200 on curtain fabric and made lovely curtains for the room (sewing is what I do best), I chose a lovely mirror to reflect light into the room, it was great.
Then the home was bought by The Regard Partnership and a new manager was appointed. Whilde my husband and I were on holiday in Australia (I'd been very ill) the manager decided to move M to an entirely different home, half a mile away, without telling us or Social Services. It was for the most able residents, two other men plus M. I enquired about my curtains. "We were going to cut them off but thought we'd wait until you came home"!!!!! His old windows were tall and thin, the new ones short and very wide, so I made new ones!
Then, just as he was settled in nicely, a huge room about 20ft long, 14ft wide, we were told that the Estate wanted that back again, so once more he moved. The other 2 men went elsewhere, and the other 2 bedrooms were taken by a member of staff and a female who had a very difficult personality. Then another female moved in, staff moved out, I was VERY unhappy about that, no way should M be left with them and no chaperone.
Things went from bad to worse, the ILF Fraud Officer became involved, told me the management was the worst he'd ever met, and in the end M moved out.
He lives in a privately rented flat, south facing, really sunny. Huge lounge and bedroom, not staff at night needed (there is a 24/7 staffed home run by the same company almost opposite. Getting a reliable agency has been an absolute total nightmare. My son appears very able at first glance, but cannot read, write, do any maths or follow some simple instructions. On the other hand he can light up and manage a 10 ton steam roller with ease!!
Your story reads exactly how I imagined the world of Adult Placement would work, im glad M has finally found something suitable and hope it stays that way :-) My daughter too presents as able but just like M has no abilty to perform basic tasks unassisted.
Chris From The Gulag wrote:
Thu Aug 22, 2019 6:59 pm
Lee ... new thread of " Essential " reading for you :

https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support- ... 41#p412941
Thank You Chris, will give a look.
Hi Lee
IMHO if someone threaten something, e.g. "I will stop caring on a certain day" then you have to stick to it or it demeans the threat and it becomes nothing more than empty words. Which is why threats cannot be made lightly.
If you meant it when you said it, then stick to it else SS will take advantge and cancel the promised meeting.
You had got to the point that you felt impelled to make the threat. Has anything changed since for the better ?

I know it's a difficult to decision to make when your daughter's welfare is at stake but I don't think they will step up unless you follow through.

Sadly it is the state the system is in that pushes us this far and so many back down or cave in long before it gets to this stage. I admire your persistence and know it's a heart wrenching dilemma
Will support you whatever happens
Kr
MrsA
Hi Mrs A,

Thank You, no things have not changed, there was an exchange of emails with the case manager (social worker) yesterday, they went on annual leave at the end of shift and not returning until "Crisis Day", as part of the email exchange I asked if they could pass the case onto someone else (it's only a little over a week until case manager returns) so that we can get support in place for that day.

The question was ignored but they did come back (in bold - verbatim), my response under in italics(verbatim)
o (my manager and he has requested further information as to why the 2nd September is a key date.)
I would be happy to discuss all information with your manager in a meeting or if he/she prefers via email directly, please pass on my email if this is helpful. The most basic reason for choosing the 2nd September as the date I am no longer willing to continue supporting ****** with 24/7 care is – I needed to set a reasonable time period for the LA to put support in place for the hours I am unavailable, initially I set this at just over two weeks from the date of decision 02-08-2019, You indicated that you were to commence annual leave and I felt it unfair of me to expect the LA to act quickly enough given your absence, so I set the 02-09-2019 as a more appropriate date (4 Weeks), also with College starting back on that date I felt this would assist the LA in finding/sourcing/funding the required support for ****** because the hours she is at college should reduce the cost and or complexity to the LA. I would also like to indicate to your boss that I should not have to give reason why I am unwilling to continue in my full current capacity as carer and this should include the reasons for choosing a date, this may come across as unnecessarily obstructive but I feel the LA is not meeting its legal obligations to ******. I love ****** with all my heart and only ever try to do the best I can to support her, in return we meet obstacles, bureaucracy and “cut backs” at every turn, I have and always will fight for the correct support for ****** regardless of the emotional and financial impacts on this family.


The response to that was simply what's in bold below(verbatim), my reply(verbatim) under that, the reply bounced with an out of office saying, mailbox will not be forwarded and to contact duty ss if urgent. so basically that are ignoring it and choosing to push to the wire.

(I have liaised with my manager and I have been advised we can discuss any further action on my return to work on 2.9.19)
o That’s great, thank You for that.
o I am pleased to hear your manager is fully aware of everything but completely shocked and dishearten they intend to take no action prior to 02-09-2019, what I am now referring to internally, as “Crisis Day”.
o I can only assume your manager is paying as much attention to the Care Act 2014, Ombudsmen and malpractice as he/she (Sorry I don’t know your managers name) is towards ******’s care.



The case manager though has at least arranged to visit on 4th sept to update care plan and carers assessment, they are bringing "Adult Placement" along to discuss moving to foster carers rather than respite being delivered in an "care home" type setting. I am swaying to the idea of continuing care under protest until the 4th, if nothing substantial can be agreed then literally down tools while i have them in the room, will simply walk out the door and leave them with her, come back at 7pm and assess the damage!.

After all that has panned out I could maybe kick the gate open on the complains process, I wish I could feel more optimistic but the buden and stress of complaining I feel is inevitable :(

Yes I completely agree with you the system is a massive mess; lots of people being very polite whilst they dump on you from an extraordinary height.

Thank You for your words and advice it is most helpfull, and, if after we have been through this, we can then help other people with our insight it will be rewarding.
I would suggest that you investigate getting Legal Aid for your daughter, assuming she is on benefits, as the LA is failing in it's statutory duties.
Then you will have someone else to fight the battle with you. Forget about the Ombudsman, so much depends if you get a good one or not!
Adult placement sounds a very good way forward. This would provide consistency of care. There will regular care plan meetings etc. The carers will be able to provide advocacy and hopefully you will all be on the same page.

You will have others opinions to back up what you have been saying all along.

Remember if you feel the first set of carers. Maybe who you feel are not good for your daughter. It's a two way street. Don't wait for SS to tell you about the carers. Make an upfront list of your expectations to meet your daughters needs.

Adult placement carers are not plentiful so some compromises might have to be made. That shouldn't deflect from appropriate care.
Sorry I’ve not replied and thank you for your ideas . Crisis day came on Saturday, kinda like a perfect storm hitting, resulting in my daughter now on a hospital ward with her own room, she is now getting excellent quality of care from some very good staff.

Been a rough few days but we are now best placed to get the correct support before she leaves hospital. Should have known all this in March, would have saved a lot of problems; hopefully when I do have time and energy to explain it may help others in similar positions avoid unnecessary suffering.

Yes I think after it has all settled down I will be making complaint to all who need to be involved, will probably let the MP become aware as a side note to getting answers why crisis is the path your guided towards before reaching the correct support. but this time from a solid position, not compromised by overload and stress. To early to think about that yet, concentrating only on getting the correct plan and support for both her and myself (Package) in place before she leaves their care.
I sincerely hope the LA and hospital will treat your and your daughter's needs more seriously now you have followed through with your planned actions.
Hi Lee,
Keep strong until your daughter's care is sorted. It is ridiculous that families have to reach crisis point before proper help is forthcoming. Whilst your daughter is cared for in hospital, try and rest and do whatever you need to gather the strength to fight for the very best care once she leaves hospital.

Please keep us updated.

Melly1