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Professionals Meeting Adult Social Care - Page 2 -Carers UK Forum

Professionals Meeting Adult Social Care

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
bowlingbun wrote:
Fri Jul 19, 2019 2:28 pm
Michael, I had counselling to help me. I was newly widowed, newly disabled, running a business, and trying to manage disabled mum and son with LD.
Something had to give.
Deciding clearly that my son had to take precedence over mum, as she could speak up for herself, son couldn't, was a real light bulb moment for me.
My role for mum had to be care MANAGER not hands on at all.

Your kids must come before your parents, they have a right to a happy dad and happy childhood.
It's vital you find some way of getting your parents sorted so you just "keep an eye on them".

Write down all the difficulties in the way of achieving this, put them in order of priority, and then share them with us.

Always focussing on what they need, not what they want.

My mum used to drop unsubtle hints about a "live in daughter"!!!! NO WAY!!!
Thank you! Your post has given me pause for thought. I recognise that I can't continue to try and do everything (which I'm sure many people would say is the first step) - but I feel that all the individuals around me DO expect me to fulfil their own expectations. It's tough finding the right balance.
I was taught how to avoid endless demands, without actually saying "No".
For example, you are given a job. Whilst doing that, you are given another one.
Just say, "You asked me to do this one first, so let's get this finished first, then we'll deal with the next job."

By saying YOU asked me, it's passing the ball back, so to speak.
Then you work at the pace you are happy with, and can drag it out as long as possible.

Here are some more ideas
"It will be ages before there's time to do that, why don't you get a gardener/cleaner in to get it done quicker. They'd do it better than me too."
Weeding? Remove all borders then no one has to do weeding.

Want ironing done? They need to change the sort of clothes they are wearing so they don't need ironging.
Shopping? They can do it online.

YOU decide which jobs you want to dump most. Share it with us, and we can probably find a solution.