Hello...

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hello, I'm Katie.

I am a full time carer for my partner who has an aquire traumatic brain injury, depression and anxiety.

I found a leaflet for carers UK yesterday, hence I'm here.

It's very lonely being a carer and supporting someone who sometimes won't help themselves.

I live with depression and GAD myself, and things are currently getting really tough due to issues unrelated to my partners illness.

I don't want my first post to be a 'woe is me' thing, but I just wanted to say I'm so glad that this place exists.
Katie, hi, and a very quick welcome for now as I'm just dashing off.

Yes, 'caring is wearing' no doubt about it.

What do you find the toughest things to cope with (apart from 'Everything!!!!')?

ABIs are very tricky - how much is the 'real' person and how much the injury? Hard to tell sometimes, which makes the issue of 'effort' etc hard to distinguish.....

How medically 'improveable' is the ABI potentially (if at all??)
Hi Katie, welcome to the forum.
We have had other forum members caring for a partner with an ABI. Very challenging and difficult.
How much can he do for himself. Is he physically disabled? Is it is reasoning etc. that is damaged?
My son, now 38, was brain damaged at birth. Can't read, write or do any maths, but the "good" bit of his brain allows him to light up and drive a 10 ton steam roller! The brain is a very little understood thing, even now.
Hi Kate and welcome
I dont think we've ever had anyone arrive here on the forum because everything is wonderful, they are coping fine and have enough money! Most arrive at a time of crisis or down-ness. This is one place you need never apologise for the emotions caused by caring. No-one outside realises the drain that the continual exhaustion brings, even if parts of our lives are ok.

It's a great place to join in any thread you fancy, caring related or not. We are a mixed bunch but very friendly
Kr
MrsA
Hello Kate, welcome.
You are allowed to be woe is me on this forum, and vent as much as you need to. No one judges, and although everyone has different issues, we all understand the emotional pain.
Hi Katie

Welcome and I agree with the other comments. This is a very safe and supportive place to offload. Caring is physically and mentally very demanding. No one will judge you here and I agree that most of us join when we are at a very low ebb.

Take care of yourself and try to find time for 'you' - easy to say but so hard to do I know.
Hi Katie,

I'm a full time carer for a partner who has an acquired brain injury and intermittently has depression and is constantly extremely anxious. Welcome to my world!

I'm sure even though we're superficially similar we struggle most with different things. But as everyone else is saying we don't come here because everything in the garden's rosy. It's difficult caring for someone with a brain injury but if you get some decent support rewarding too.

Paul is my soulmate. He's no longer the man I met 36 years ago but I never expected him to be after all this time. I'm not the girl he met either. Unfortunately I've just hit the age (mid 50s) at which my body's started to give up on me too.

I've been caring for him full time for nearly five years. For many years before that he was so depressed he was unreachable. I found that harder to cope with than his physical disabilities now. We have become even closer in the last 5 years. I know it sounds improbable but thinking of 3 good things that happened today often helps me feel better. I tend to see things in black and white and being forced to see good things on really bad days helps me put things in perspective. The good things are often the support I get from friends or having a cuddle with Paul but just completing the crossword or doing well in a computer game or meeting a nice dog outside Tesco all count too. I've always managed to find something on even the darkest days. On a really bad day finding some clean knickers counts!

The things I struggle with most are "the authorities". I spend far too much time banging my head on a brick wall trying to get Paul the assistance he needs.

Perhaps you'd like to tell us a bit more about your partner or yourself. If you want to have a private talk about living with a partner with brain injury feel free to send me a private message.

Sending you hugs and good wishes.