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Please don't judge me. - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

Please don't judge me.

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
My mum had a horrible mix of conditions, needing more and more pain relief.
Fortunately, I had Power of Attorney.
The GP rang me up to say she was concerned for mum, and I told her that pain relief MUST be her top priority, regardless of the consequences.
Mum had already told me that when she woke up, she just regretted it, so I knew she'd had enough. he GP ga extra pain relief, and mum passed away gently in her sleep. I have told my eldest son in no uncertain terms that when my time comes he must do the same for me.
Quality of life is so important, especially at the end of life when there is no hope of a reasonable existence left.
We have progress... The nurse told me that Hubby was awake enough to have a serious talk with the consultant and he would be coming to speak to us both. We formally asked for end of life care and it has been agreed.

Incidentally, I truly appreciate EVERY response I have received on this forum. I have no family or friends for support, so you have become a precious resource to me.

My next question of you good people.... hospital or hospice?
Personally I can't speak highly enough on hospice care. Where I live we are very fortunate to have several facilities who provide excellent end of life care. You will need to make some enquiries in your area. Historically, many of my relatives have used hospice care and there was never any issues.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/end-of-li ... spice-care
My father had wonderful treatment from our local hospice. /after he was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer, initially he went to their Day Hospital, picked up from home, and delivered back at the end of the day. ANY health problems were quickly spotted and treatment or medication arranged. I cannot speak too highly of their care. He had a lovely room for the last two weeks of his life, with french doors overlooking a beautiful garden. Staff were so kind.
Definitely hospice, Alfreda. They specialise in palliative care and will also support you. Friends with experience of hospices supporting them and their loved ones can't rate them highly enough.


I'm so glad you found this forum and posted, you are not alone at this difficult time.

Hospice most definitely if there is a bed available.
They take great care of the patient and spouse/family.
Hospice is far more peaceful and dignified in a private room.
it is far more sedate at the hospice.
They generally have the time to speak with you and explain things to you and take care of you as well, ensuring you take care of yourself.

They took great care of my dad and my mother lived in the chair next to his bed, they had a relatives bedroom for her. One night it was snowing and they didn't want my twin and I driving back so they gave us soup and sandwich and a bed for the night and toast in the morning.
There was a breakout lounge with tea and coffee, a garden and a chapel there.
From the experience with regard to friends and family, would agree with hospice. Usually the visiting hours are much more flexible, and staff trained in 'end of life care' and they understand the 'quality of life' and have chosen to work in this field. Also they may well provide counselling for YOU whilst you are going through this. I realise they vary from area to area but our local hospice as a wonderful reputation..

Thinking of you.