[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 585: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/phpbb/session.php on line 641: sizeof(): Parameter must be an array or an object that implements Countable
New - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.


Hello, I'm Bethan and nine years ago became a Carer. Into an unknown world I went. Through difficult times from caring through cancer and chemo and defeating the challenges. I now find another level where my relative is suffering from may be or not slight parkinsons or dementia. No body seems to know only my relative is suffering from hallucinations has suddenly become aggressive and totally confused about conversations. To a point of denying I'm a relative all is upsetting and hurtful and no one to talk to or understand. If there is someone out there who has been through or has gone through this please tell how to cope with the confusion, the hallucinations and what should one do. This is an unknown territory and world and this carer needs help and direction. Please. Thanks for listening.
Hi ,Bethan, my name is Debby and have been a carer for my Mum for the last five years. She has dementia and I know how lonely it can feel,if you want to talk I will listen. Take care :)
Hi Bethan, welcome to the forum. There are a number of forum members who may be able to help with advice, who will be along presently. They should be able to answer almost any question you put to them about managing someone with this sort of problem. Can I ask how old your caree is? When did these symptoms start? Is the GP aware of them?
Have Social Services been asked to do a Needs Assessment for your caree? A Carers Assessment for you? If not, ring up SS and ask them to make a visit to see your caree. It's a good idea to have your Carers Assessment away from home, so you can speak freely without being overheard. It is possible that there are services in your area you don't know about, coffee mornings, trips out, etc. where you could meet other carers and share experiences.
Also think about applying for Attendance Allowance (assuming your caree is 65+), and ask your local authority about council tax exemption on the grounds of severe mental impairment, which I believe covers dementia type problems. Come back to the forum as much as you like. We also have a section called Roll Call - it doesn't matter that you don't know any of us, neither did we, once upon a time, and it's always good to see a new face over our virtual garden wall.
Hi Bethan
If this deterioration is very sudden you need to check that your relative (you can say who, mum, dad, Hubby etc it might help with replies), is not suffering from something like a urine infection or some vitamin deficiency, which can present with similar symptoms as dementia. I would contact the GP, explain the sudden deterioration and ask for blood and urine tests. Rule out everything else first. Then, if it seems that it is dementia then you have to take stock of the situation and what to do next.
Hi Bethan.
I agree. Please insist on urine test. The UTIs are horrendous. Antibiotics soon clear them up although can return. What age is the person you are caring for?
Unfortunately my husband had several UTIs which proved to be much worse each time. He's had mini strokes which I and my daughter's had no idea about and a couple of more severe strokes. The last one being disabling. He now has vascular dementia and in a nursing home.
My point is that you need to get tests sorted as quickly as possible. Hopefully it isn't dementia or Parkinson's. Could be infections causing delirium. This is an extremely hard think to do but try not to take your relatives reactions personally because they do not realise what's happening. I've broken down and been hysterical. Am still totally heartbroken but now try to make his life as comfortable as possible..
You may have to be pushy with the GP and don't be fobbed off.
Its a very emotional time
Take care
Bethan, I agree it sounds like a urine infection. But my brother also has delirium following a psychological shock when he went into hospital three years ago for something trivial. He had hallucinations after that but he is not demented, and in fact he is a lot better now but still gets confused - but nothing like dementia. Some of it is old age too. I hope you can get a diagnosis. But it needn't be Parkinson's or dementia.
Hi bethen
My mom had horrific hallucinations she was terrified most of the day, talked to people that I couldn't see, it came at its worst when she thought the people she could see were in her bed, on her chair in tv room (my lounge) so she wouldn't go to bed wouldn't come and watch tv as there was no room, then her eating stopped because they watched her, my mom was a shy old fashioned lady this desease ruined last months I had with her I was looking forward to taking her out for days and giving back all she'd done for me.....i didnt get the chance i miss her every day
Yvette - I can sympathise. So often I say to myself 'if only' my mother in law had developed dementia, we could have had such nice times, with me taking her out and about (even if she were too frail and had to be in a care home), and spend time together watching Coronation Street and so on, and she would have been interested in her grandson and so on.

But Dementia is stealing her away, and now she is so 'vague' and faded and the conversation is really only one way alas.

It is sad, sad, sad.