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Partner needing care but I’m unable to provide - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum

Partner needing care but I’m unable to provide

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Pamela, is the family friend paying rent to his daughter and SIL?!

Since I was widowed, I've been to Lanzarote, Menorca, Majorca, Malta, Cyprus and had many holidays in Crete. I stay at the Mistral Hotel in Maleme - Google "Singles in Crete" and have a look. It's a lovely place, you can do as much or as little as you want, meals out, day trips, 2 pools for 40 people. I learned how to live and laugh again there. We all share ideas of where to go, how we find travelling, hints, tips etc. Have you been abroad since being widowed?

When I go away in the UK I usually pay £60-£80 a NIGHT bed and breakfast!
Hi Melly

Yes the tenant pays the rent to the daughter and SIL. A bit of background:

He gave his own house to the daughter and SIL. This whole feeling sorry for her…..all so strange. Part of the deal was that they purchased his late mothers house (split between him & 2 brothers) for £110K. He spent £35K on the refurb intending to move in when finished. He was meant to live there rent free. They have a ‘dependant relatives BTL mortgage). Then he temporarily moved here till the work completed but covid came and he stayed here. They’ve since let the family friend live there @£500 per month + bills. He (partner) still pays the council tax on that house. Another crazy thing imho. They pay him £100 per month as repayment for £10K he lent them for the deposit. They make no attempt to share the rental income - even though he spent £35k on the refurb. It’s morally wrong on so many levels but he just can’t see it at all. I’ve never understood it. When I’ve loaned money to my daughter & SIL we have a repayment plan and it’s always repaid on time and asap. That’s what is fair and reasonable. So yes I’m also enabling this whole thing!

Clear as mud??
Hi Bowlingbun

Wow those holidays sound fantastic. I’m adding those to my bucket list!! There’s so much I want to do whilst I’m well enough to enjoy it !
Covid has temporarily clipped my wings of course, but I have fingers and toes crossed that I make it to Crete to see my friends in September. I have made some lovely new friends, but I'm in the New Forest, one friend is in Worcester and another in Norfolk. We keep in touch through the year, and always have fun when we are together, just going on trips and meals etc. Now I meet up with a group of "girls" in Gatwick for a coffee before we get our flight, at about 6am, so the holiday starts there really, and the hotel minibus collects us. I always say it's where I learned to live and laugh again after my husband died. Otherwise I go with Tui from Bournemouth, they do lots of good deals, and I live under the final approach into the airport, so it's much cheaper for me to get a taxi there, than to Gatwick. If you give this man his marching orders, you would probably find that you had lots more money available to enjoy yourself.
As for his complicated house ownership situation, that is surely the best possible reason to get him out, the longer you leave it the worse it will be.