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Hi all - Carers UK Forum

Hi all

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
I am new to this site and have no one else I can really talk to. My Wife suffers with Fibromyalgia, she was diagnosed with it back in 2004, she also has Spinal Stenosis and other problems relating to Arthritis, we have been together now for 8 years and her condition worsens each year.
As her Husband I am her full time Carer and now have a Heart condition myself, thankfully I keep myself active and as yet have no major problems, but looking after her is becoming more and more demanding and stressful.
Nobody else in the Family really take much notice of our problems. I am with her 24hrs a day, I do all the Cooking, Cleaning and Washing, as well as going Shopping.
I am looking for some kind of outside help, or at least a break for a couple of days to recharge and unwind, but finding that help turns out to be impossible.
If anyone has any ideas or just a sympathetic ear would it be much appreciated.
Hi Steve, long reply later, but can I ask how old you both are? Claiming any benefits?
Hi, yes we get all the benefits that we know of, PIP, ESA and I get the Carers allowance, we are council so get rent allowance but we have to pay bedroom tax as we cannot sleep together due to her condition, I appealed against paying it but had it turned down, all in all just not a lot of help or understanding, the only rest I get is when I finally get to sleep at night. My Wife is 61 this year and I am 58.
If between you, you have less than £46,000, or less than £23,000 each (your choice to be assessed singly or jointly) then Social Services can help. Ask them for a Needs Assessments for both of you, and a Carers Assessment. You may be given the option of Direct Payments, which means they give you the money, you organise the care.
Hi Steve

I have found this forum a massive help. I second everything that bowlingbun has said, especially about getting social services involvement and having assessments done to see what help you might be entitled to. It also really helps to know that you're not alone and there are other people going through similar situations, as the role of 'carer' can be extremely isolating. It might be worth having an assessment done by an occupational therapist as well as there may be certain equipment that might make things easier for you both to manage things in the home. Best of luck xx
Hi, many thanks to both of you. I will take your advice and look into it, will be back on here with any news xx Steve