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panic attacks and anxiety after mum passed away - Carers UK Forum

panic attacks and anxiety after mum passed away

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Hi everyone,

My mum passed away in February this year, up to 3 weeks ago I THOUGHT I was coping well....... Then WHAM..... we were on holiday and I had 2 panic attacks followed by daily anxiety. I have been to the doctor and been prescribed Propanolol, I think I need a stronger dose as the anxiety still there, I'm doing breathing exercises, I've listened to relaxation CD, I've made enquiries about a 6 weeks course , I'm TRYING to keep busy daily, but the anxiety STILL LURKING THERE.....

Has anyone else been in such a siruation as this?
I'm a very positive person who doles out advice and help two-a-penny to others and im finding it hard to know what to do..

Thank you ..

Judi
(((Judi)))

Have you had bereavement counselling? I thought I was coping well with my Dad's sudden death, but when I realised I hadn't, I had some sessions and it really helped me cope better. I used the Cruse online counselling service as that suited my caring situation but their are other options avaiable through Cruse, your GP and hospices.

Melly1
What do you think was the "trigger" for the panic attack.

If you could put your finger on that it may help you avoid another one
Melly1 wrote:(((Judi)))

Have you had bereavement counselling? I thought I was coping well with my Dad's sudden death, but when I realised I hadn't, I had some sessions and it really helped me cope better. I used the Cruse online counselling service as that suited my caring situation but their are other options avaiable through Cruse, your GP and hospices.

Melly1

Thank you Melly

I have rung the local Barevement organisation up this morning, I go for an assessment on 20th June so that's great.
I hope it helps like it has for you. :)

Judi
Judi, sometimes it's even worse for those of us used to being in control and helping others.
You are in new territory just now. Really reduce right down to the bare minimum what you are doing, go for a walk every day, early nights, etc. etc. until you are back in tune with yourself. I found a book called "Starting Again" by Sarah Litvinoff helpful when my husband died. It's on ebay, cheap, published by Relate, mainly for those recently divorced, but very helpful for those of us facing a new situation.
Judi, on the widows forum Way Up, the six month point was the lowest, when all the paperwork is more or less dealt with, the "Widows Fog" begins to lift, and then it hits you, this is how it's going to be from now on. Whilst you have lost mum, not partner, there is probably very little difference. The best way to deal with it is by accepting this will happen, and that it will pass. It will be easiest if, whilst coming to terms with things, there is as little other pressure on you as possible. This is not the time to make life changing decisions, but the time to tread water, to take quiet breaks in the country, away from all the usual hubbub of normal life, as much as possible. Early nights, bubble baths, even medication to help you sleep if that is a problem.
Absolutely WOW.........
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO REPLY AND BASICALLY HITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ....
I HADNT BEEN ABLE TO GRASP ANY OF THIS SWIRLING ANXIETY, FEAR, PANIC AND LOOK IT IN ITS FACE TO DEAL WITH IT HEAD ON FOR THE SIMPLE FACT I DIDNT KNOW WHAT ON EARTH I WAS DEALING WITH ..... WHY IS ALL THIS HAPPENING ????? WHAT'S GOING ON ?????? BUT YES, A FEW OF YOU HAVE MADE THE COMMENT THAT EVERYTHING HAS SUDDENLY STOPPED..... THAT VERY FACT ITS ALL S-T-O-P-P-E-D I OBVIOUSLY KNOW BUT I NEVER LINKED THAT FACT WITH THE REASON I AM FEELING DREADFUL.....

I AM SEEING A BEREVEMENT COUNSELOR SOON SO I AM HOPING THAT WILL HELP ME .....

I AM STILL GOING TO CONTINUE WITH THESE PROPANOLOL DESPITE THE FACT I THINK YOU HAVE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.

I AM STILL IN THE PROCESS OF THE SOLICITORS AND ALL THAT AND BECAUSE I GAVE UP MY JOB TO LOOK AFTER MUM I HAVE NOTHING TO FILL MY DAYS NOW ( IM NOT COMING ACROSS AS WOE IS ME, WOE IS ME, IM JUST EXPLAINING THINGS AS THEY ARE ) SO YES, IT SOUNDS AS IF YOU ARE SPOT ON .

THANK YOU VERY MUCH , I APPRECIATE IT ...

JUDI
bowlingbun wrote:Judi, sometimes it's even worse for those of us used to being in control and helping others.
You are in new territory just now. Really reduce right down to the bare minimum what you are doing, go for a walk every day, early nights, etc. etc. until you are back in tune with yourself. I found a book called "Starting Again" by Sarah Litvinoff helpful when my husband died. It's on ebay, cheap, published by Relate, mainly for those recently divorced, but very helpful for those of us facing a new situation.
Thank you very much :)
Colin_1705 wrote:What do you think was the "trigger" for the panic attack.

If you could put your finger on that it may help you avoid another one
Thank you Colin, we were on holiday when I had the panic attacks, the week previous to the holiday I had been stripping walls and painting at mums, I must have got dust on lungs coz I developed an awful cough and found it difficult breathing , of allllllllll places to go away on holiday it was DUBAI WHERE IT WAS 100 EVERYDAY !!!!!!! and the word "fresh air" doesn't exist in that neck of the woods , sooooooo I have no idea where the link comes into it all.

Judi
"Keeping busy" is the way to run yourself into the ground! You must allow yourself time to grieve, learning to live quietly at home with yourself is difficult, especially when you've been busy, busy, busy. For 50 years I took a particular route to pop in and see mum, although she's been dead for a couple of years, it still seems odd driving a different way.
Is it vital for you to do the decorating right now? Whilst you head is probably full of jobs and things to do, maybe your body is craving some peace and "down time"?
Maybe think about putting some "relaxation time" in your diary. Doesn't have to be expensive, even a walk, some window shopping, a long lunch, a coffee with some people watching. Or going to bed early with a good book.
85 posts