Not sure what to do (psychosis)

[india77]

Conrad, you don't sound paranoid. Your worried and stressed and it takes its toll. x

[sunset]

hi conrad welcome ,

[lell7]

hi Conrad,
hope you manage to get some rest over the weekend. Try not to worry, I know it's easier to say than do, but if you get more and more stressed you will end up being ill.
We're not machines, you need a break sometimes.
I think your mum's psychiatrist will look at medication to help with her delusions, they aren't keen on taking people into hospital because it's expensive.
The CPN should advise you about this, but I wonder how helpful it is telling your mum she's wrong when she has delusions, assuming they aren't serious or dangerous ones. I don't have the same experience as you, but my dad had dementia and he used to get distressed and imagine people on television were real and in his room, for example.
I would distract him rather than argue that he was wrong, because for him it was real.
I think for your mum if she thinks she can smell something it's real for her, so maybe distracting her and trying to comfort her in some way might help? Sorry, you've probably tried all this, but I just thought I'd mention it.

Conrad, you need and deserve support and social services and Mental Health services should be arranging that for you.
It seems to me that you and your mum have been let down by the people who should be helping you. Your mum is worse because her trust was betrayed, and you shouldn't be left to deal with that alone.
I hope the weekend is ok for you, and that you can make a call to MIND on Monday to start getting some help.

best wishes,
Lesley xx

[melanie masters]

Hi Conrad

I think I know how you must be feeling, but can't offer any more words of wisdom than have already been written here. I do hope you can have some R & R at the weekend, and be fit to address everything on Monday. That is what I am going to try to do now!

[bowlingbun]

Hi Conrad, welcome to the forum. I'm really concerned that no one has noticed the effect all this is having on you. Please ring Social Services on Monday and ask for an URGENT Carers Assessment. After years of caring without a break, I developed life long health problems, and there are many others here that this has happened to, don't add yourself to the list. YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN. How can you cope without any support? I'm not sure how old your mum is, but am wondering if mum now has other mental health problems associated with older people, in addition to all her other problems?

[silverday]

Hi Conrad
Hope you are managing to get some rest.
I would agree with Lell regarding challenging your mum's delusions. In my experience that just increases the paranoia, and does not make my mum change her mind about her own 'reality'. Although it is very, very difficult I know. The official advice is to say something like 'I know that is real for you, but it's not how it is for me'. I have never managed to do this successfully though! I tend to try and ignore them or change the subject. Agreeing with them is another no no! If her delusions are bad the psychiatrist should look at her medication. It really sounds like her whole care package needs looking at.
Look after yourself xx

[Conrad King]

Hi Conrad, welcome to the forum. I'm really concerned that no one has noticed the effect all this is having on you. Please ring Social Services on Monday and ask for an URGENT Carers Assessment. After years of caring without a break, I developed life long health problems, and there are many others here that this has happened to, don't add yourself to the list. YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN. How can you cope without any support? I'm not sure how old your mum is, but am wondering if mum now has other mental health problems associated with older people, in addition to all her other problems?

Thanks again for your help.

My mum is in her mid 50s. I do not know of any other big problems. I think all are linked to psychosis and depression. She may be getting worse? Maybe this is what they think? Or its just that my mum thought she could trust them with her deep feelings and its got her into this mess.

Today she wont talk to me. Its not uncommon for this to happen. She does not do it because she does not like me (I think). She just has so much on her mind that she cant cope with talking and I think is scared she will get angry.

I think I said this before... I think the CPN is trying to say that my mother is a risk to the public. She is not (I really would say on here if she was). I think she maybe said something that is in her notes and they now think she is a risk.

I worry that nothing I say will be taken into consideration. They think they know best and were all looking at things through rose tinted glasses. This is what makes me so angry. How they can lock people away because of just a point of view. Its happened to people I have known, and all are in a worse state now.

I do think that that all this has had a emotional effect on me. Well, I can say that for sure. I think it has effected other parts of my life also. I have other issues away from this that effect me also... Life has not been great for me, but then again nor has it for most of the population.
I think most of the stress right now is all out of fear of losing my mum for something that should not be happening. I would not be able to cope if I knew she was in her personal hell of being in a mental hospital.... and I think that is what is happening.

Do any of you have any advice on what I should say? I have never had to do this before and I worry that my emotions will get in the way.

[Conrad King]

Hi Conrad
Hope you are managing to get some rest.
I would agree with Lell regarding challenging your mum's delusions. In my experience that just increases the paranoia, and does not make my mum change her mind about her own 'reality'. Although it is very, very difficult I know. The official advice is to say something like 'I know that is real for you, but it's not how it is for me'. I have never managed to do this successfully though! I tend to try and ignore them or change the subject. Agreeing with them is another no no! If her delusions are bad the psychiatrist should look at her medication. It really sounds like her whole care package needs looking at.
Look after yourself xx

Its so hard to know what to do. I have tried all the ways and none really work. If I ignore them then she thinks people are ignoring them. If I say that I cant see/hear/smell them but I know its real for her then she thinks I am just playing with her. I dont think that their is a perfect way... I know if I was her I would not like any way that people would try to deal with me. The only thing that would make her happy is if they were real....

I should have said this before. For years (I think around 12 years) she was on an injection that her CPN gave her. When all the cuts hit and they did not have "time" to do these things they put her on medication (Pills) that has put her in the state she is now. Since that day they stopped she has been in a decline and it was quick. Before they stopped the injections she had some problems but NOTHING close to what it is now. Mostly it was side effects like pacing and sleeping a lot after the injection.

I guess it all comes down to money.

hi Conrad,
hope you manage to get some rest over the weekend. Try not to worry, I know it's easier to say than do, but if you get more and more stressed you will end up being ill.
We're not machines, you need a break sometimes.
I think your mum's psychiatrist will look at medication to help with her delusions, they aren't keen on taking people into hospital because it's expensive.
The CPN should advise you about this, but I wonder how helpful it is telling your mum she's wrong when she has delusions, assuming they aren't serious or dangerous ones. I don't have the same experience as you, but my dad had dementia and he used to get distressed and imagine people on television were real and in his room, for example.
I would distract him rather than argue that he was wrong, because for him it was real.
I think for your mum if she thinks she can smell something it's real for her, so maybe distracting her and trying to comfort her in some way might help? Sorry, you've probably tried all this, but I just thought I'd mention it.

Conrad, you need and deserve support and social services and Mental Health services should be arranging that for you.
It seems to me that you and your mum have been let down by the people who should be helping you. Your mum is worse because her trust was betrayed, and you shouldn't be left to deal with that alone.
I hope the weekend is ok for you, and that you can make a call to MIND on Monday to start getting some help.

best wishes,
Lesley xx

I have not tried distracting her. I will try but I think she will know that I am trying to do that and will get upset that I am trying to baby her... but it may work as I have not really tried it.

I think the way CPNs work is different now or maybe different here. the fact that they do not turn up and then lie that they were not meant to shows that they can do what they like now (To us anyway). I think I have been left out the loop with some things as I think they try not to tell me anything they dont 100% have to tell me.

I did go out today. I went shopping for things for me. Its my birthday soon so I wanted to get some things. It was a nice day.

Thanks for your kind reply. I think this is the most support ive had in a very long time.

Sorry for the double post. I did not know it had 2 pages.

[crocus]

Hi Conrad
I think you need some (((hugs))))
Im afraid that I dont have much experience of caring for people with MH issues, but I have read all your posts very carefully.
Im wondering what her relatives take on all this is. You mentioned you had a sister and your mum has grandchildren (are they your sisters children?) and I wondered what they thought of your mums problem and whether they are concerned that she might be a risk? Can you talk to them? If they are supportive towards you then I think that will make things much easier.

There has been so much good advice on here, but I suspect that you are so tired and stressed that you cant take it all in. Try and have a rest and then go back and re-read everything. I think that the MIND website/helpline may well be a good place to start

xx

[Treez]

Hello,

It's so very difficult dealing with psychosis, I know first hand, after a while you think you are going mad yourself, and as you say sleep doesn't come easy when you feel you need to be awake for your loved one's saftey let alone your own. I was calling the police fairly regularly when my husband suffered with this symptom of his bipolar disorder.

Our stories don't get told in full in just a few lines, we'd be writing forever if that was the case. If ever you need to vent feel free.

I truly wish you well, stay strong you'll reach a more stable place, and you will cope better...because that's what we have to do. Take care you are not alone, it just feels like it at times, and sometimes the help which you hope will be there from the CMHT just doesn't come, leaving you more isolated. That's why we must stick together, someone will read and feel your problem. Just knowing this helps, and that is so very necessary.