Thanks again for your help.Hi Conrad, welcome to the forum. I'm really concerned that no one has noticed the effect all this is having on you. Please ring Social Services on Monday and ask for an URGENT Carers Assessment. After years of caring without a break, I developed life long health problems, and there are many others here that this has happened to, don't add yourself to the list. YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN. How can you cope without any support? I'm not sure how old your mum is, but am wondering if mum now has other mental health problems associated with older people, in addition to all her other problems?
Its so hard to know what to do. I have tried all the ways and none really work. If I ignore them then she thinks people are ignoring them. If I say that I cant see/hear/smell them but I know its real for her then she thinks I am just playing with her. I dont think that their is a perfect way... I know if I was her I would not like any way that people would try to deal with me. The only thing that would make her happy is if they were real....Hi Conrad
Hope you are managing to get some rest.
I would agree with Lell regarding challenging your mum's delusions. In my experience that just increases the paranoia, and does not make my mum change her mind about her own 'reality'. Although it is very, very difficult I know. The official advice is to say something like 'I know that is real for you, but it's not how it is for me'. I have never managed to do this successfully though! I tend to try and ignore them or change the subject. Agreeing with them is another no no! If her delusions are bad the psychiatrist should look at her medication. It really sounds like her whole care package needs looking at.
Look after yourself xx
I have not tried distracting her. I will try but I think she will know that I am trying to do that and will get upset that I am trying to baby her... but it may work as I have not really tried it.hi Conrad,
hope you manage to get some rest over the weekend. Try not to worry, I know it's easier to say than do, but if you get more and more stressed you will end up being ill.
We're not machines, you need a break sometimes.
I think your mum's psychiatrist will look at medication to help with her delusions, they aren't keen on taking people into hospital because it's expensive.
The CPN should advise you about this, but I wonder how helpful it is telling your mum she's wrong when she has delusions, assuming they aren't serious or dangerous ones. I don't have the same experience as you, but my dad had dementia and he used to get distressed and imagine people on television were real and in his room, for example.
I would distract him rather than argue that he was wrong, because for him it was real.
I think for your mum if she thinks she can smell something it's real for her, so maybe distracting her and trying to comfort her in some way might help? Sorry, you've probably tried all this, but I just thought I'd mention it.
Conrad, you need and deserve support and social services and Mental Health services should be arranging that for you.
It seems to me that you and your mum have been let down by the people who should be helping you. Your mum is worse because her trust was betrayed, and you shouldn't be left to deal with that alone.
I hope the weekend is ok for you, and that you can make a call to MIND on Monday to start getting some help.
best wishes,
Lesley xx