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Hi Everyone!!!! - Carers UK Forum

Hi Everyone!!!!

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi Everyone,
I'm new here. I'm nearly 40 and have been caring for my Grandmother for the past 11 years. In 2002 she had a series of tia's(mini strokes) which led her to having three full blown strokes.After the first stroke she wasn't even admitted to hospital, she came home with me and I nursed her back to health on my own(there was no help offered or available), my husband and I gave up our bed for the duration of her stay, sleeping on the lounge floor whilst she was with us. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in Jan 2004(the day after my ex husband had passed away(renal failure), at that time I had to hide my emotions for the sake of my eldest two children and my youngest who was three at the time. I became very ill in Nov 2006, it was later diagnosed as gallstones, in March 2007 my eldest son tore his anterior cruciate ligament(which involved a lot of running back and forth to the hospital)also Jan of the same year my husband was admitted to hospital after a routine chest x-ray showed a suspected collapsed lung, this was later found to be a bullae(a big air pocket taking up most of the space of his right lung). This he had open surgery for in August last year a procedure that nearly killed him(6 months off work), he still suffers a great deal of nerve pain from the surgery and also became severely depressed. My son had his knee surgery 2 weeks before Xmas and I had my gallbladder removed one week before Xmas. Trying to keep everything together during the past year has been HARD. My illness caused me to lose a lot of weight before surgery I was down to 7 stone. My Grandmother is 91 now and for the past year she has been in and out of hospital with renal failure, still we can get no help!!!! The past 2 Christmases I've spent at the hospital with her, One admission on Xmas day, and last Xmas she was admitted the day after I'd come out of hospital after having my operation and I was phoned to get to the hospital quickly as they were losing her(no mean feat when you rely on buses and trains). She was admitted to hospital again 10 days ago and I fear the fight has gone out of her, she has not been eating or drinking, can't move out of the bedside chair is very weak and confused AND I walk into the hospital today to be told she is better and going to be discharged later this week. As I said earlier I'm her main carer, I wash her, dress her prepare food for her, shop for her, do her housework and laundry, the same things I've been doing for the last 11 years. The hospital have decided that they are going to put a care package together for her without discussing her needs with me, which I'm not happy about, it seems my input is not needed because I don't claim carers allowance, I do however spend on average 40 hours a week looking after her and managing her affairs as well as looking after my own household of 5!!!!
Sorry to be sooooooooooo long winded I could go on for a lot longer!!!!!
Image Image Is how I feel !!!!!
If the hospital put a Care package together without your input, tell them you will hold them responsible when they discharge her, if anything happens to her.Do not sign anything, and do not take her home yourself. Contact Age Concern, asap, to get their immediate advice.

I know how you feel. Everything comes together.

Good luck!
Hi Lazydaisy,
I'll do that, i have no intentions of signing anything that I disagree with!!!!
My immediate reaction was to tell them to get lost and fetch her home with me. my personal opinion is that she needs care 24/7 which is what she will get here. Her bladder and bowel incontinence creates a lot of cleaning and washing.
I'm not one to take things lying down, I just need to keep my "sensible, calm head" on.
Thank you for caring enough to reply, I don't feel quite so alone now. Image Image
Hi, No1mum and welcome!

The hospital HAS NO CHOICE but to listen to you. Point out that under the Community Care (Delayed Discharges) Act 2003 they must involve the carer in the discharge planning. The law makes no mention of Carers Allowance - you do not have to receive it to be a carer.

Quoting the law around hospitals tends to have a fairly noticeable effect. If they still fail to listen, ask them for a complaints form and their names in full.
Hi No1 mum nice to meet you.Welcome to the forums Image
Hi there and welcome to the forum. My stepmother (who sadly passed away about two weeks ago) also decided not to eat or drink and we thought that we were losing her. She was admitted to a respite home while they did an assesment on her care needs so the social worker could see what it was that was required. It might be worth asking around to see if this is an option. They do not stay in the place forever only until their care package is in place. It would also give you a break to spend some time with your family knowing that your grandmother was being cared for. Take Care Alison Image
Hi N01

Welcome to the forum.
hello no1mum

welcome to the forum

Hi No 1, and a very big welcome.

I apologised to someone in the medical profession once for being a bit bossy. They replied that I had every right to be bossy after everything I'd been through. I haven't been through half as much as you it would seem - so GO GET 'EM!

Hi no1mum, don't let them push you into anything, if you don't get it all in place beforehand, you will have the devil's own job getting it after!