Tue Oct 14, 2008 10:13 am
Hi all, nice to meet you 
I'm a 23 year old girl I live in a small Devon town with my husband. I was designated a 'young carer' when I lived with my mum, although it wasn't really her that needed too much looking after as much as me and my little sister.
Unfortunately I can supply you with anything specific as to my mum's need for help, the doctors have never supplied us with a reason for mum's behaviour partly because mum used to forget to follow up appointments, go to hospital appointments (she can't drive and all of her family live up north).
Basically she suffered from bouts of depression interspersed with bouts of great enthusiasm for projects/ideas that were never going to happen coupled with high blood pressure and a kidney disorder, absent-mindedness, a certain lack of social skills and any adult friends or company (not a serious as many people on here who have real disabilities I know, but it seemed awful at the time =S).
Essentially from the age of about 9, I used to have to sort out getting myself and my sister ready for school and to school on the bus. I used to come home and cook dinner, have to wash my own clothes, try and remember to check the electric meter, go and do the shopping etc. I didn't have to do all these things all the time, sometimes mum would have a sudden surge of energy and be like the perfect (lol) mother for a few days before retiring to her bedroom again, or she'd manage to do some things and not others.
Nowadays my mum has kind of reached a plateau. Her meds seem to have stabilised her and she's finally found satisfaction in gardening. A recent influx of new people moving onto the street she lives has led to her having a really nice little social group of friends who look out for each other and go shopping together things like that. She's still forgetful and unorganised, but she's doing pretty well at keeping herself on top of things. My sister still lives with her but will be going to university next year, something I never managed to do, and I'm so pleased for her.
All throughout this I had support from my grandparents (my dad's parents) who used to give us food, money for electric, lifts to the supermarket. Until my granddad was made redundant when I was about 16, and shortly afterwards had a stroke which put him in hospital for a few months. He never fully recovered to his old self, but he worked hard and learned to write and talk again and started going for walks on the moors to keep himself fit.
Last year my nanna (who's had bad knees for most of her life) fell down the stairs in the middle of the night. She went to hospital and they detected a small amount of bleeding on the back of her brain, but decided she was fine and sent her home. Six weeks later my nanna started behaving very strangely. Unable to walk hardly at all, completely incontinent (she'd had mild incontinence for awhile) and started slurring some of her words, she seemed very confused.
The doctor sent her to the local hospital where they treated her for a stroke, and she only got worse until she couldn't talk or do anything herself at all. They gave her a brain scan only to discover that her brain was still bleeding and the asprin they'd been giving her was only making it worse.
Eventually she had an operation on her brain to drain it, and she steadily recouperated in hospital. The problems began when she came home though.
My granddad has essentially become her full-time carer. She can barely get to the toilet by herself, she gets easily confused and has major mood swings screaming at my granddad because she can't get a tissue out of the box and things like that. He does the best he can but he's basically killing himself running around after her
He's very depressed and constantly exhausted. Basically housebound unless he can persuade someone else to stay with Nanna. Me and my mum help when we can but I work full-time so can only go and visit in the evening, by which time Nan's normally gone to bed to watch Eastenders, or on the weekend which tend to be very full anyway.
So basically I've joined for my Granddad's benefit. I'm trying to find out if there's any more I can do for him, anymore help they're entitled to, if anyone has any suggestions as to any help I can give them =)
I'm soooooo sorry for my first post being a novel but I wanted to fully explain lol XD
I'm a 23 year old girl I live in a small Devon town with my husband. I was designated a 'young carer' when I lived with my mum, although it wasn't really her that needed too much looking after as much as me and my little sister.
Unfortunately I can supply you with anything specific as to my mum's need for help, the doctors have never supplied us with a reason for mum's behaviour partly because mum used to forget to follow up appointments, go to hospital appointments (she can't drive and all of her family live up north).
Basically she suffered from bouts of depression interspersed with bouts of great enthusiasm for projects/ideas that were never going to happen coupled with high blood pressure and a kidney disorder, absent-mindedness, a certain lack of social skills and any adult friends or company (not a serious as many people on here who have real disabilities I know, but it seemed awful at the time =S).
Essentially from the age of about 9, I used to have to sort out getting myself and my sister ready for school and to school on the bus. I used to come home and cook dinner, have to wash my own clothes, try and remember to check the electric meter, go and do the shopping etc. I didn't have to do all these things all the time, sometimes mum would have a sudden surge of energy and be like the perfect (lol) mother for a few days before retiring to her bedroom again, or she'd manage to do some things and not others.
Nowadays my mum has kind of reached a plateau. Her meds seem to have stabilised her and she's finally found satisfaction in gardening. A recent influx of new people moving onto the street she lives has led to her having a really nice little social group of friends who look out for each other and go shopping together things like that. She's still forgetful and unorganised, but she's doing pretty well at keeping herself on top of things. My sister still lives with her but will be going to university next year, something I never managed to do, and I'm so pleased for her.
All throughout this I had support from my grandparents (my dad's parents) who used to give us food, money for electric, lifts to the supermarket. Until my granddad was made redundant when I was about 16, and shortly afterwards had a stroke which put him in hospital for a few months. He never fully recovered to his old self, but he worked hard and learned to write and talk again and started going for walks on the moors to keep himself fit.
Last year my nanna (who's had bad knees for most of her life) fell down the stairs in the middle of the night. She went to hospital and they detected a small amount of bleeding on the back of her brain, but decided she was fine and sent her home. Six weeks later my nanna started behaving very strangely. Unable to walk hardly at all, completely incontinent (she'd had mild incontinence for awhile) and started slurring some of her words, she seemed very confused.
The doctor sent her to the local hospital where they treated her for a stroke, and she only got worse until she couldn't talk or do anything herself at all. They gave her a brain scan only to discover that her brain was still bleeding and the asprin they'd been giving her was only making it worse.
Eventually she had an operation on her brain to drain it, and she steadily recouperated in hospital. The problems began when she came home though.
My granddad has essentially become her full-time carer. She can barely get to the toilet by herself, she gets easily confused and has major mood swings screaming at my granddad because she can't get a tissue out of the box and things like that. He does the best he can but he's basically killing himself running around after her
He's very depressed and constantly exhausted. Basically housebound unless he can persuade someone else to stay with Nanna. Me and my mum help when we can but I work full-time so can only go and visit in the evening, by which time Nan's normally gone to bed to watch Eastenders, or on the weekend which tend to be very full anyway.So basically I've joined for my Granddad's benefit. I'm trying to find out if there's any more I can do for him, anymore help they're entitled to, if anyone has any suggestions as to any help I can give them =)
I'm soooooo sorry for my first post being a novel but I wanted to fully explain lol XD
)
