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Newby - Page 2 - Carers UK Forum


Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Its difficult trying to get her to drink enough.At the moment she has fybogel in the morning and magnesium at night but it does not shift it.She actually looks about 9 months pregnant!!!!
This is definitely something that needs addressing sooner rather than later. Constipation can become a serious problem if not addressed. This is not a nice thing to say but our waste has two possible exits, if one exit is blocked it will eventually back up and come out the other way (faecal vomiting).

Movocol is very similar to Fybogel but as I said requires fluid to be useful. From the packet...

Faecal Impaction 8 sachets a day: All should be consumed within a 6 hour period.

However, given that level of constipation you should definitely talk to the doctor again. Lack of fluids is a nasty problem that if not addressed can lead to hospitalisation.

One way to increase fluid intake is to give her food which is high in liquid: ice cream, soup, milk on a breakfast cereal and jelly, to name a few.

Oh another thing, once she starts to go it will be very loose; don't be fooled into thinking its been cleared. Initially the softened faecal matter will squeeze around the side of the blockage but the blockage will still be there, it will take time to clear properly. You'll probably notice hard dark bits inside the excrement, this is the blockage gradually clearing.

:( Having a really bad day.Mum actually made my dad cry the weekend she keeps accusing him of having an affair he has never had an affair in his life.She describes this woman and things and she is being very hurtfull.

Today she decided to go off on her own and we spent and hour looking for her eventually finding her in our local village having a coffee.

Iv just called her older people mental health worker as they put her venlafaxine up about a month ago and she seems worse also they reduced her mirtazapine.

She is very depressed cry all the time I don't know if this is part of the dementia!!!! she has vascular dementia but not on any medication for this.

I am struggling to cope but have to be strong for my dad who recently said to me when I went away for a short break that he was very lonely.

She was diagnosed 2 years ago after collapsing with her heart and had got worse recently. :( just don't know which way to turn!!!!
It might help you and your Dad cope with Mum better if you understood more about vascular dementia and what effect it is having on her brain.

I'd like to suggest that you contact your local branch of the Alzheimer's Society (they cover ALL forms of dementia, not just Alzheimer's) and ask them for advice - in general they will allocate you a support worker (this is support for you and Dad not for Mum) who will be able to talk you through what is happening to Mum and give you pointers on how to cope. Mine was invaluable when Mum was first diagnosed and later as the disease progressed.

this is the direct link to the contact page in their website


Whilst there have a look around, they do a number of very useful downloadable fact sheets and brochures.

I'm a firm believer in "Knowledge is power" - the more information you get the better able you are to cope.
My mum has recently been diagnosed with vascular dementia, also known as multiple infarction dementia. It is due to lots of little mini-type strokes which destroy small parts of the brain. To start with it doesnt make much difference, but over time the increasing loss of brain tissue makes doing everything very difficult. She has not been given any medication either. I gather that (unlike Alzheimers) there isnt anything specific and all that can be done is to keep the blood pressure down and use warfarin and/or stimvastin where appropriate, to stop further infarctions.
Mum is also convinced that her husband (who has the same name as her son, unlike her actual husband :ohmy: ) is having an affair. She also complains the people who live above her make a lot of racket on the stairs at night, come into her home and move things around and use up all the hot water. She has lived in her present bungalow for 25 years :(
It is incredibly difficult to see someone you love going through this, especially when they are at the stage when they realise that there is something wrong, but dont know what and are trying to make sense of it all.
I agree with susie about contacting the alzheimers society. I have also found Teepa Snow on youtube and have found her presentations really helpful. Heres the first link - you can follow the rest through
Im so sorry to hear about your mum and what you are going through.Do you care for her?
Im finding it hard to accept as mum was always the strong one of the family.

Thank you for advise its good to come here and hear from people going through the same you don't feel so alone.xxx
Im not actually caring for her Ellen as she recently went into hospital with a suspected stroke and is now in a care home. My main caree is actually my husband.
Vascular dementia can be incredibly variable. With mum everything has happened really quickly, but with others they can remain fairly static for years.
Feel so lonely today don't know if Im even posting in the right place. :(

Last night mum constantly went on and on at my dad seeing some woman there is no woman of course.She got her self so agitated and stressed she was actually sick it took ages to calm her down is this what its now going to be like from now on.
She had me in tears today just going on and on about my poor dad who is struggling to not let this get to him which is difficult.
I feel totally drained and don't know which way to turn at the moment.x
Once they get an idea into their heads Ellen it's not easy !

Time will help; in time she will forget and find something else to fixate on - it's almost like your Dad being unfaithful was her greatest fear when she was younger and now it's surfaced again - big time. Changing the subject rather than trying to present a logical answer may suffice in the short term but there is probably little that you can say or do long-term that will change her mind permanently as she will have forgotten what you've said very quickly

I can only suggest that you speak with her Doctor again, it maybe that her meds need adjusting or changing.