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Hi new here living in greece/mum needs care in uk - Carers UK Forum

Hi new here living in greece/mum needs care in uk

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Not an easy situation, any help or ideas gratefully received.

So my partner and i live in Greece.
We need to come back to help my 70 yr old mother.
She is homeless and lives in a van on a small plot of land she bought after selling her house.
She got evicted because the land is not for residential use.

I used to be her regd carer as she had health issues.
Me my fiance and her now want to move in together near bristol and leave greece.

Any ideas? I also want to have a baby.. not an easy situation . any ideas?
Oh sorry I am posting this on my fiances account just so you know
Hi Zaid,
My immediate reaction is that if you do what you are planning, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Three generation households are really, really difficult to make work well, even when everyone wants them to. Mine has just failed, so I speak from experience. Throw in someone with health issues, a fiancé who doesn't know mum, a mum used to living in a van, is a recipe for complete disaster. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's spoken from the heart. A better idea would be to sort out mum, entirely apart from your own life plans. As a homeless vulnerable adult, social services have a duty to support mum. I suggest you contact the local authority in which mum lives, by email, and discuss the issue with them.
I completely agree with BB. At 70, your mother could live another thirty years. Are you going to have her live with you that long? Is the child that you want going to have her grandmother with health needs living with his/her parents their entire childhood?

Please get your mum sorted separately from yourselves. Why the rush to return from Greece permanently? You could support her in solving her homelessness problems, and stay here for a bit (if absolutely necessary), but keep your permanent home in Greece.
This may sound harsh advice, but you only have to spend half an hour reading posts on this forum to realise how incredibly difficult it can be to look after elderly parents, especially with health and financial problems of their own, let alone when you have young children too.

Whatever state of health, both physical and mental, your mother has now, at 70, these will only get worse as the years go by. What you might be able to cope with now is unlikely what you will find easy, or even endurable, after a few years.

Sadly, having an elderly parent to live with you is all too often a 'lobster pot' - easy to invite them in, but sometimes impossible, and nearly always emotionally painful (and sometimes financially so too), to get them out again, when things become difficult.

Over and over again on this forum we see examples of adult children whose relationship with their parents improve once they are in their own accommodation.

At the very, very, very least have some kind of 'granny annexe' for her, so you can shut the door on her and have your own flat/house to yourselves.

Please, think extremely carefully before you take this step.
It depends on the parent and their compliance with YOUR rules. I had a three/four generational household for a decade or so and it can actually work really well as long as you have the right chemistry and everyone mucks with the chores in whilst respecting each others space.
If she likes living alone, she might prefer to have a self-contained annex or granny flat next to your house where she can potter about and stay in control. Or two flats in the same area, even. All depends on budget, doesn't it?
As for having a baby, go for it, and good luck. Most grandparents make excellent childminders.