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Newbie Lacey May - Carers UK Forum

Newbie Lacey May

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Lacey May 16051 wrote:
Mon Dec 25, 2017 12:39 pm
I feel so depressed today, look after my husband who has MS and my 91 year old mother with insulin dependent diabetes osteoporosis and many other ailments on my own, have a Carer most mornings for mum, only 2 mornings for my husband as the agency can't find anybody else, and all the other agency's around here can't help either, my family are good but they all work so can't help much,don't know how much longer I can carry on like this I'm 69 now and feel wretched. Don't know the answer.
Hi Lacey May,
Welcome to the forum.
I have started you your own thread, so that folk can welcome and support you.

Welcome Lacey
I hadn't spotted you were new, sorry.
Sorry to hear life is so tough for you. I'm not the best for advice as my situation is different. I care for a young adult with anxiety issues so at least we can get out and about and I can work.
There are however many (too many!) like you on here struggling to cope with too heavy a load.
There's a few of us popping in here over Christmas but traffic is lighter than usual as most seem to be hibernating until it's all over, so just saying "hi and hang in there"

Hi Lacey May

Just want say I hear you. My caring responsibilities are much lighter but I too am feeling their weight, today especially.

Others will no doubt be along offer more practical help but am sending you love and hugs this Christmas day.

Hello Lacey May. That is a heavy load. I have only one person to care for.

Others here will have more experience but I have found that even if the caree is self-funding Social Services can take on the job of finding a care agency. Have they tried and failed or have they just left it to you to do it yourself?

Welcome to the forum and I hope you find it as helpful as I did when I arrived here.
HI Lacie May,
Welcome to the forum. I've been a multiple carer, it's really, really tough. So you need to reduce what you do as much as possible and increase the help as much as possible.
When did mum and husband last have Needs Assessments from Social Services, and you, a Carers Assessment?
Who is paying for the carers? How much should they have, as opposed to actually getting?
Ae they both receiving all the benefits they are entitled to?
What do YOU want most. More care for mum at home, or mum to move into residential care?
More later.
Thank you so much for replying to my post everybody,I felt really down and tearful on Christmas Day, family round on Boxing Day really helped and I began to feel better as the day went on yesterday one of my daughters in law and son came round to do the housework and washing and ironing which was wonderful, yes we are getting the benefits we are entitled to, it's mainly physical help I need , I have just started having a Carer at lunchtime to toilet them both,it does not always work out as they can't 'wee' to order. But we will carry on and hope for the best, I wish I had posted before as have been a Carer for 10 years , I also used to look after my dad as well who passed away 7 years ago now. Thank you again for your support, it's really appreciated
Hi Lacey May,
I'm glad you had some visitors and some helpful ones especially.

A good use of attendance allowance/PIP might be (if you can find one,) to hire a cleaner. Even if it's s local Mum who does it after the school run, term time only.

I agree it's not easy to wee to order, but they may well get used to doing just that. I juggle caring and working and work in a school. My body has adjusted to weeing at break times only. Indeed, in the hols I find myself needing to wee at those times too for the first few days!