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Newbie..Hubby with arthritis - Carers UK Forum

Newbie..Hubby with arthritis

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Hiya ! I’m new here, and I’m so pleased I found this site. My husband has osteo arthritis, so is never free from pain, and although he tries to stay cheerful and active, we are now at the stage where he can’t do very much at all around the place, or walk very far. He frequently suffers flair ups in various joints, which cause severe inflammation and he is currently awaiting his second knee replacement, which should be very soon. His first knee op has been very successful, so we are optimistic that the second one will go as well, but the disease also affects his ankles, neck and hands, so the future is very frightening. He seems to be becoming more and more content to sit in the chair, which worries me enormously, as the less he does, the less he seems able to do, and the stiffer his joints become. I’m also worried his muscles will weaken and he will become depressed.

I’m normally quite positive, but some days I also find it very hard……. and I must admit, I get very anxious worrying about the future. I have seen him cry with the pain, and I know it will probably get worse. Also I just didn’t expect for it all to become so bad so quickly, but life now seems to be endless hospital and doctors appointments, and daily chores, not helped by the shortening days.

I appreciate we are very lucky compared to some, and I can see there are so many of you on here, in much worse situations, so I must be very grateful. I also feel it’s not fair for me to grumble, as it is he who is fighting the ill health and not me.

Inevitably I will be his sole carer, which scares me to death, so I will be very glad of the knowledge, and hopefully, the support of others that understand. Already, I so miss my husband how he used to be. I’m not that good on my own, and I know I’ve got to learn to be stronger. Thanks for reading, and I look forward to joining in. x
warm welcome to you jennywren, there is lots of support and friends here for you Image
Hi Jennie, welcome to the forum. I'm the proud owner of two knee replacements, the second one, a year ago, was simply life changing, recently I walked five miles! Prior to the operation every single step hurt unbearably, so I can understand why your OH doesn't want to do much at the moment. However, the fitter he is before the operation, the better it will be. It took me a long time to build up my general fitness and stamina after the operation, and build up the wasted muscles. It seemed easier to do lots of little walks, just up and down the road, to start moving again. Then one day I took daughter in law's dog out, and we ended up walking a couple of miles because it was such a beautiful day. My feet and ankles also hurt a lot, but just pottering around they gradually sorted themselves out. I'm super careful about having really good shoes which give lots of cushioning and support, which makes a huge difference. If you are finding the chores plus caring difficult, try to streamline your house as much as possible, and get as many labour saving devices as you can (I love my washer/dryer and dishwasher). Hope that helps.
I just thought Id post and say welcome to the forum. The thing I like about it is that you can say whatever you like and people understand.
Hello and welcome from me too.

Just waiting for a date for my hubby to have his first hip replacement operation, and preparation is everything, so it would seem, judging by the number of visits we have had about the height of his chair, bed, toilet seat etc.,

You will soon find your way around the forum and will make some good virtual friends.xx
hello and welcome
Hello everyone, and thank you so much for your replies Image

Emma..Nice to 'meet you' and thankyou for your welcome.

Bowlingbun...Hi, and thankyou for your kind reply, and great advice. Well done to you for having your knees done, and I'm so pleased it has changed your life. I'm hoping hubby will be able to do dog walks when his second one is fixed. You are right, he should be keeping fit for the operation, but fortunately he does remember the muscle flexing excercises they gave him last time. I will definitely see that he gets some better shoes, with more cushioning and support. That makes a lot of sence, and the washer dryer.....you must have read my mind. Seeing as my elderly one is on its last legs I have already been thinking along those lines. So thank you. I'm just hopeing that when the second knee has been done he will be strong enough to use the crutches as his shoulders are very bad, but there are ways and means.

Crocus...Thank you for your welcome and yes, it will be great to have somewhere to vent off sometimes, as this can be a lot of our trouble, bottleing it all up.

Poppett ....Nice to hear about you, and thank you. Good luck with your husbands hip operation, but I'm sure he will do well. I would not worry too much about the heights of the bed, chairs, toilet etc, as he will know what he can and cannot do, plus they lend you frames and helpful apparatus. My husband spent ages filling in all their forms with the heights last time, and took it with him, but they never even collected it from him. He will possibly need a toilet frame, and a damned good chair though. Also I made a very solid makeshift step into the house for my hubby, but you may need handles etc. I'm sure it will all work out.

Tracie ....Hi, and thank you for your welcome. Look forward to getting to know you all.
hello and welcome Image im india, and i look after my mum who has arthritis amongst other medical conditions.
Hi India, and thank you for my welcome. Sorry to hear your Mum has the dreaded arthritis too. Its such an awfull disease. My elderly Mum has it in her hands, bless her, and finds it an awfull problem when her fingers lock. She's beginning to have more and more of a problem dressing herself now, but does amazingly well to stay independent. Fortunately she lives nearby. Speak soon.