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Carers UK Forum • Newbie here
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Newbie here

Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:10 pm
by Abby_2001
Hey, I'm new to this group. I'm Abby, full time carer of my disabled mother for about four years. I enjoy video games, reading, writing novels and Greek mythology. I just turned 20. That's literally everything about me Haha. But yeah, thanks for having me.

Re: Newbie here

Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 8:37 am
by pamela_17081
welcome to the forum abbey. I hope that like me you will find lots of interest and help on here.

Re: Newbie here

Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:48 am
by Ayjay
Abby_2001 wrote:
Thu Jan 16, 2020 11:10 pm
Hey, I'm new to this group. I'm Abby, full time carer of my disabled mother for about four years. I enjoy video games, reading, writing novels and Greek mythology. I just turned 20. That's literally everything about me Haha. But yeah, thanks for having me.
Hi Abby, 20 is very young to be facing the possibility of a long time caring for someone. How much is involved in your caring duties? Do you have plans for your own life?

Re: Newbie here

Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 10:53 am
by Sally_17031
Hi Abby

I care for my Mum with Alzheimer's, have 2 small (ish) kids and a part time job. I like walking the dog and reading.

Really lovely to meet you, My kids like gaming too (I'm not allowed to play as am rubbish). What do you play? Fortnite is big in our house at the moment. And Mario Kart!

Sorry to hear that you are a carer so young. That must be hard. Please make sure you think of your own future too. Your hopes for a relationship, family, job etc are just as important as your Mum's need for care. I hope you get time to socialise with friends or is that hard? Do you know if there are any young carer groups in your area?

Re: Newbie here

Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 11:41 am
by thara_1910
Hello and welcome Abby!

What are your hobbies? I’m also a young adult carer myself. Can you ask for a needs assessment or not? This is important as you need a break. Seriously call the council or email. When was the last time you had any me time? Me time is important for all unpaid carers. Even if it is half a day at work or college it still counts.

Re: Newbie here

Posted: Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:18 pm
by bowlingbun
Hi Abby, welcome to the forum.

Please tell us a bit more about your situation so that you have a chance of a life of your own, to realise some of your dreams.

Too often parents assume that their children will be obedient and do whatever they ask (it took me until I was 60 to realise that was what I was doing!) As an adult, you CANNOT be forced to care for anyone, and you are entitled to help.

Mum should have a Needs Assessment every year, and you, a Carers Assessment. Have these been done recently? If you don't know, don't have a written copy, then the chances are it wasn't done properly!

First, a few questions.
How old is mum?
What is wrong with her, is she mentally or physically disabled?
Who owns the home where you both live?
Is mum claiming any disability benefits or income benefits?
Are you claiming Carers Allowance?