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New to this group - Carers UK Forum

New to this group

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Hi every one I'm new to this group and just wondering if I can find help and others in the same situation as me my husband has suffered depression and anxiety for the last 5yrs and I sometimes find it difficult to deal with X
Welcome to the forum - we have lots of different types of carers here - for elderly parents, spouses and children, and lots of experience and feelings of 'oh, me too!', so I hope you find a sympathetic place for yourself here.

Depression is a vile condition - and takes a horrible toll both on the person suffering it, AND those who have to have contact with them. Depression is so 'draining', and turns the sun black, and that is 'contagious' so to speak.

Depressed people can suck the hope and joy out of their own lives, and those of everyone near them, and they can be (sadly) extremely 'self-focussed' thinking only of their own misery and unhappiness, and never thinking about the effect they have on those who love them and care for them.

Is your husband in treatment of any kind (or is he too depressed - as he believes! - to benefit from it)(so many people with depression are 'too depressed' to seek help!), because if not, one of your 'deals' with him may be to say 'Look, I'll stick by you BUT ONLY if you seek help and treatment'.

However low he is, he must 'make an effort' for your sake. You have rights too, and you are not on this earth only to look after him at your own expense endlessly.

Wishing you all the best possible, Jenny
Hi Nina

You are definitely not alone - being a MH carer may not be physically stressful, but it is so emotionally draining, I'm not surprised you find it difficult to deal with sometimes. Hopefully we can provide you with somewhere to vent your frustration and stress. There honestly isn't anything you can say that will shock us or make us judge you. We all have days when we wonder if we can carry on - seems to be par for the course in all walks of caring.

Feel free to come back and share anything with us.

Steph x
Hi Nina,
Welcome. I have no personal experience or advice to offer except have you heard of MIND.
Type it into Google and see if there's anything on their website which will help you. Loads of info there and support. I believe that they offer visits etc but am not sure, Try it and see if you don't already know of it. All the best. Elaine
Hello Nina

Welcome! I am sure you will find this forum supportive and that you will feel less alone. Elaine has given you some wonderful advice about looking up the MIND website. They are great and will give you advice as well. The thing about depression is that you are unaware of the world around you, and therefore are unable to make reasonable judgements given that your own logic has broken down. I found my depression lifted when I moved and started a new job which has gone so well, and have recently made a full recovery due to the wonderful people I work with. Of course, moving is extreme! Think of what your husband needs to be removed from; is it something ongoing, something from the past or perhaps he is unsure himself.
There is your GP to consider for help and advice but perhaps you need to think about how he will move on from his current state. Online there are various sites of interest, but do click onto the MIND website, and do see your GP.

Very best wishes, and clearly you are doing a wonderful job. Well done!

Ruth :P