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Newbie battling for support - Page 4 - Carers UK Forum

Newbie battling for support

Tell us a bit about yourself here.
Please make sure they (OT) deliver the correct mattress for the hospital bed. They may assess your dad as being prone to develop bed sores. If so they ought to deliver an air mattress. Also, ask (OT or district nurse) for an electric sit to stand recliner with pressure relieving cushions. My mother found the one she got to be more comfortable than what she owned.

Sounds like progress is in the works, finally.
Well, the Social Worker's appointment has been brought forward to tomorrow morning, thanks to the physio lady.

I fell asleep this afternoon having been awake for 21 hours out of the previous 24 - and missed a phone call. Number withheld, so no idea who, but I'm betting it was the District Nurse. Struggling to keep my eyes open...
Good that you could take a nap.
Struggling to keep my eyes open...


MoD bought thousands of stay awake pills in advance of war.


The DWP could learn from the MoD when it comes to family / kinship carers.

Makes a 24 / 7 one a little more responsive ?

Green Paper ... new initiative ?

DWP ... " We hear from carers what they need. As now shown , we do respond to their needs. Free support to assst them in their caring roles. To be made compulsory through their gps. "
Kate, no wonder that you are feeling frazzled, three hours is nowhere near enough.

Please keep a diary on what you are doing for dad over the next week.
eg. Getting up, toilet, wash 1 hour.
Lunch, preparation, feeding washing up 2 hours

but most importantly

the time dad is finally settled
the time you go to bed and sleep
what time you are woken up
what time you go to sleep again, etc.etc.

Maybe think about doing a very brief video diary if you have a phone or tablet that you can do this on. There can then be no doubt about the severity of your caring role.

Before the social worker comes, write a list of everything you can think of that dad needs.
Well, the social worker was great. We can't carry on like this, she says. Waiting for another team to come and see him, and I am to push for him going into nursing care for the next 7 days - let's hope they have a bed. This will give us chance to get out breathe back and for a care package to be ready and waiting when he comes out.

The nursing home looks superb. And it's local, so we can go to see him to reassure him that he's not being abandoned. 7 days is the maximum stay in that sort of facility, apparently.

Fingers crossed please!
Thank heaven, the voice of sanity has at last prevailed!

I'm glad the nursing home is good, nearby, and available, that doesn't happen very often to forum members.

Once dad has settled in, talk to the Matron after a couple of days, and have a real "heart to heart" with her.
1. Is it really possible for dad to come home again?
2. If so, what support does SHE think he needs?
2. How long does she think he has left?
Just left the care home having settled him in and sat with him for a couple of hours: he'd fallen asleep, and my partner, who is diabetic, was getting wobbly, so it was a good time to come home.

The Social Worker is arranging a full care package for when he is discharged home - in the meantime we have to completely clear his lounge for a hospital bed, hoist and lord knows what else. Where the furniture and everything else goes I have no idea, but I'm not thinking about that tonight. Nor tomorrow: apart from going to visit him, I have every intention of spending the day in bed with the cat.
Kate_1810 wrote:
Fri Oct 05, 2018 8:20 pm
... but I'm not thinking about that tonight. Nor tomorrow: apart from going to visit him, I have every intention of spending the day in bed with the cat.
Good plan but dont be surprised if either body or brain refuse to cooperate. Stress, and the relieving of it, can do strange things
Xx
MrsA
Kate,

Hope everything is going OK for you with your Dad. My mum is 92 and had severly swollen legs & ankles plus weeping legs - its oedema - they put her on tablets to make her tiddle more - more problems as she can barely get to commode herself. In the end - she kept her legs raised on her recliner and they gradually went. Good luck xx