Newbie anxious for son

[sunnydisposition]

Just wanted to say, yes it does feel like I'm enabling him. Which is the most terrible feeling in the world, that I'm letting it happen

You should not feel terrible your are a mother and want to do your best and protect your son. The reason I raised the question was to see if you had recognised it maybe an issue. I would certainly not suggest or expect you to turn your son out of the family home. What I was trying to convey at some point in the future. Your son with have to make his own life decisions. To stop enabling can be a long process of retreating little by little. There is no immediate time line to disengaging.

https://www.purewow.com/family/how-to-s ... rown-child

[Anivad319]

Thanks Sunny D I Know what you are saying, I think it's one of those things we know but isn't easy. My mother had MH issues and my dad loved her and tried his best but sometimes when you're worn down I guess you lose yourself and can't keep strong to set boundaries etc.
I have an older son who hasn't experienced MH illness and has successfully got on with his life and is making his way.
I think the age of onset is half of the trouble, it's such a shock. A little boy with no problems from birth, through school, girlfriends, exams, college, very intelligent, loving, funny and then Bam!! About age 25/6 total change. It really is a shock, to them as well. Scary for them. I feel scared for him and his future and sorry I can't persuade him to talk to a doctor.
Maybe time and me being stronger will help.
Thanks

[Sally_17031]

Hi Sally
Thanks so much. I contacted iapt last August but I had nowhere to be private on phone, I said I'd walk round the park and talk! But they wouldn't do it. I will ring today. I should be able to see them I bet now. Thanks. Ok I'll ring about carers assessment too.
I talked to him a bit yesterday, small, small steps at least I think I feel bit more logical.
Thanks all for your help and advice.

Good for you for feeling a bit more logical. It is hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes, isn't it? Definitely give IAPT a go again. Even if you have to lie and say you have a private space. Best of luck, it isn't easy. x