Newbie - a brief hello

[Tillymint]

Just wanted to introduce myself and say "Hello" to everyone - I feel like I know some of you already from having read through quite a few posts. And its made me feel like I have found the place I need to be right now. In some ways I don't feel like a carer in the way so many of you are - having to juggle so many things to be done on a daily basis. Its all quite new here. My dad (77 yesterday) was diagnosed with kidney problems secondary to prostate cancer in Jan. These two diagnoses came out of the blue. After a few weeks in hospital they managed to get his kidneys working better, but even a few weeks on he is not the person he used to be. He has aged about ten years in a couple of months. My issue is that we seem to have been left to just get on with his diagnosis with very little professional support. I am lucky that I worked in the NHS for several years, otherwise this whole experience would have been much more frightening and stressful - just being able to understand some of the jargon makes a huge difference Dad doesn't want to talk about what is happening - and I am left just watching him become more anxious, depressed and frail by the day. I am struggling to know what to do to help him

[no1mum]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Heart breaking to watch a loved one's health decline. Dad knowing that you are there for him will be a huge comfort to him. Take care. x x

[Myrtle]

Hi and welcome
Yes, the NHS do seem to have a nasty habit of flooring you with a diagnosis and leaving you to it
Please feel free to ask about anything at all really as someone is bound to know the answer

[jenny lucas]

Just to say, if the kidney problems are associated with the PC, then you may well find that other PC patients are also affected, in which case joining some of the PC forums may give you much more information direct from other affected patients, than you are getting from the NHS.

Although I'm not personally familiar with PC specific forums, I do recommend the general Macmillan cancer forum as a good place to start. The overall forum is broken down into tumour site specific subforums, and people there are very, very helpful.

http://community.macmillan.org.uk/cance ... fault.aspx

(Apols if this recommendation is one you've already followed!)

Kind regards, Jenny

[Tillymint]

Thanks for the supportive and helpful replies. I am feeling the weight lifting off my shoulders already. I have also signed up to the Macmillan forum, and am in touch with Prostate Uk, so am in the process of getting lots of information about Dad's condition from them. I am hoping here is a place I can share all the conflicting emotions - a slowly breaking heart, the guilt of wanting to continue my own life, of wanting it not to "drag on too long",etc. ( In my defence for that last statement I watched my mum decline very slowly and die of early onset dementia when I was 25). Apologies if that all sounds very selfish x

[shazi]

Hi tellymint just wanted to say hello. It is a long time since i had to deal with cancer but the Macmillan nurses were a great help. wishing you all the best and sending you hugs.