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Carers UK Forum • Newbie
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Posted: Sun May 28, 2017 1:09 pm
by Stephanie_17051
Hoya Stephanie here. After 4 years of managing everything my body gave out a year ago and I had to stop. A friend helped me find private carers and it was amazing. My husband passed away in march from Copd, Though sad it was expected and to all of us such a relief. Poor guy so frightened of dying he refused any help at all right to the end. I til the hospice finally stepped in and he agreed to accept a stay.

I am ok emotionally and physically exhausted, one day spent with son and grandson and shattered, how long does it take to recover??? :unsure:

Re: Newbie

Posted: Mon May 29, 2017 8:07 pm
by sunnydisposition
Hi Stephanie and welcome.

Sorry for your loss.

Everyone experiences are so different. I guess no one really every get over bereavements. We just try and learn to live with it.

Practical things I guess..
Feel free to express yourself and keep talking.
Allow yourself to feel sad.
Keep your routine up.
Eat healthily.
Do what your body tells you.
Go to counselling if it feels right for you – but perhaps not straight away.

Tell yourself that grief is normal.
Expect to experience the five stages of grief.
Although you have said it was perhaps a relief given the circumstances. Prepare for denial or disbelief.
Expect to feel anger.
Expect to feel guilt.
Prepare to feel sadness and depression.

best wishes

Re: Newbie

Posted: Mon May 29, 2017 10:28 pm
by jenny lucas
I was widowed some years ago in different circumstances but I can tell you that your reaction is quite normal for new widowhood alas. It's a very 'strange' time which sounds odd to say, but never again will your life be as it is now....and that is on top, of course, of the tearing pain of bereavement....

Please 'go easy on yourself' right now. You've been on a marathon, that ended with the worst time of your life, and you do need time, time, time to 'come bac.k down' from that ordeal.

All I can say is 'go with your feelings', however difficult, strange and painful they are right now.

Wishing you as well as can be at this dreadful time - kind regards, Jenny