Newbie

[melanie masters]

Who would think hearing aids could cause so much contention and distress, but THEY DO! Like you say, if you felt they were trying to help themselves as much as they could, you could be more understanding. My Dad goes as far as to say he doesnt want to wear them because he can't hear with them in. Funny how when he does have them in communication with everyone is easier. (I have put them in and you can hear a fly fart)

[jenny lucas]

Just a thought, but maybe you could convince her to wear her hearing aids by simply being 'deaf' yourself to whatever it is she wants doing!

Just because she's old and infirm, doesn't give her the right to make other people's lives more difficult than they have to be, when they are doing things for her!

And if she doesn't like outsiders coming in, well, that's fine, as long as she doesn't expect you to do their work instead!

You can let her get away with some things - fair's fair after all! - but not get away with everything.

[jenny lucas]

Another thought - do you think she might be amenable to learning to (understand) signing? (and you to learn to sign!) Even if not the full vocab, she might be willing to learn some 'esssentials' that would ease the irritation her deafness is causing you.

[bowlingbun]

Jenny, that's a good idea. My son with SLD learned Makaton when he was little, a simple sign language which is very easy to learn, because most of the signs are based on something relevant. For example the sign to drink is someone miming putting a cup to her lips. Although M has been able to speak reasonably well for years, as a family we still use it, especially in our long garden. Rather than go and ask someone if they want a cuppa, lunch is ready, etc. We just give a quick yell to attract their attention and then sign! We probably only use six signs, for do you want a drink, dinner's ready, cake, biscuit, bed, and home. There are also boards available with signs, for people who can't speak, so you can just point to what you want. M had a friend who used one years ago, someone else here is bound to know more.

[jenny lucas]

Sounds like it's a possibility then, at least in principle!

Of course, it may all depend on whether she is 'selectively deaf' or not! Is it that she simply doesn't want to hear some things you say to her???? If so, that's a different issue!

[diana]

oh ive got a mum just like your gran! thought mine was the only one who wont use hearing aids (we have tried two different sorts) she "loses" them regularly. also wont wear glasses and then complains cant read things also refuses to have meals on wheels or carers and even wants to stop delightful cleaner.i have come to the conclusion that this is a power and control mechanism to keep me on a leash. can only suggest you try to ignore it but easier said than done as hugely annoying when thay wont help themselves. sounds like you are doing a pretty good job. good luck.ps my mum als o alienated hearing clinic as insists on talking through all tests and asking them to deal with her corns!

[charliewelshie]

Sorry for the delay answering you all. My grandmother's health has taken a slightly turn and she was put in hospital for observation. They are mollycoddling her at the moment about the hearing aids. Her records show she was booked to see audiology tomorrow so they aren't pressing the topic with her. It is slightly annoying as no hearing aids means she's practically deaf. So, I phoned though and made sure that audiology know where she is and they will go to see her tomorrow.

As for sign language we have our own made up style. For example, if I am going to do something on the computer for her, I'll pretend I'm doing rapid typing on a keyboard. Its what developed over the years and not anything we have learnt special.